Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Rescue Me

Being a true romantic through and through, my favourite stories have always been those where a damsel is in distress, and the handsome prince comes riding in on his trusty steed to save the day. Sleeping Beauty was rescued with a kiss. Rapunzel was freed from her tower. Cinderella was delivered from her suffering by Prince Charming. Ahh... I love the pursuit and the passion. A love so great nothing can stop the rescuer from his mission.

Today I was captured by the thought of the Lord as our Rescuer. In comparison, Houdini's escapes seem trivial, as He can rescue me from any situation and remove all the chains that bind my heart and soul.

Most often I need rescuing from my own choices and disobedience...yet, I suppose there are times when the Lord allows me to be in trouble so that He can show Himself to me as Rescuer. Joshua 2:15 says, "the LORD fought against them, causing them to be defeated...". He caused them to be defeated to show Himself to be their Rescuer. The Lord Himself is the root of the rescue. He is both cause and effect. I get to meet Him in a new way and see another aspect of His divine character when He brings a need into existence.

God is not a one-time Rescuer. Judges 3:9 says, "the LORD raised up a rescuer to save them." Then, Judges 3:15 repeats, "the LORD again raised up a rescuer to save them."

I'm so thankful for the continued rescue He offers. Regardless of how I get into my state of requiring His rescue, whether ordained by God or a result of my choosing, He still rescues me. It speaks of His great love for us. 2 Peter 3:9 says that God doesn't want anyone to perish. His desire is for all to be rescued.

The greatest rescue He made is my journey from deserving hell, but receiving heaven through the death of His Son. A damsel in distress, He rescued me. Oh, how I love my Rescuer.

I'm in a place of looking for His rescue again today. I know my Rescuer will come.

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Monday, March 30, 2009

Consider the Source

My family enjoys watching "Little House on the Prairie". In the episode we watched this evening, Laura and Almonzo had a major misunderstanding. Judgements were made on perceptions that weren't true. Words were taken out of context. Arguments escalated. Relationships were severed.

It reminded me of my reading this morning. "The rest of Israel heard that the people of Reuben, Gad, and the half-tribe of Manasseh had built an altar...so the whole community of Israel gathered at Shiloh and prepared to go to war against them."

They "heard". How often do we react based on things heard? We catch part of a conversation, or misinterpret things said and the next thing we know our blood is boiling.

We need to learn from how the Israelites respond. Joshua 22:13 says, "First, however, they sent a delegation led by Phinehas son of Eleazar, the priest, to talk with the tribes of Reuben, Gad, and the half-tribe of Manasseh."

Although what the rest of Israel 'heard' disturbed and angered them, they didn't just presume or jump to irrational conclusions, they did the right thing. They sent a representative to the people of Reuben, Gad and Manasseh for an explaination.

Wondering how often I base my decisions on what I 'see' or 'hear' instead of what I truly 'know'. May it be a lesson to me to examine all the truth, and not make a judgement in haste.

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Sunday, March 29, 2009

Rest on Every Side

"And the Lord gave them rest on every side..." Joshua 21:44

Rest. A breathing break. Time to relax. Freedom from anxiety, worry and fear. Respite. Pause.

The Lord granted our family that "rest on every side" yesterday. We shared a special day with Dad. He was in good spirits. We sang old hymns around his bedside. The first song Dad started, and even harmonized with was, "It is no secret what God can do".

The passage in Joshua continues. "...the LORD helped them conquer...Not a single one of all the good promises the LORD had given to the family of Israel was left unfulfilled; everything he had spoken came true."

Oh, wouldn't it be just like God, now that the diagnosis by all the medical staff, specialists and professionals have been pronounced, their conclusions reached, that He touch and heal my Dad so that it IS no secret what God can do...and has done. Praying we'll continue to see God's Hand moving in, on and through Dad's life, and all our lives, as we give testimony and praise to the One who has given us rest on every side.

Joys are flowing like a river,
Since the Comforter has come;
He abides with us forever,
Makes the trusting heart His home.

Blessed quietness, holy quietness,
What assurance in my soul!
On the stormy sea, He speaks peace to me,
How the billows cease to roll!

Bringing life and health and gladness,
All around this heavenly Guest,
Banished unbelief and sadness,
Changed our weariness to rest.

Like the rain that falls from heaven,
Like the sunlight from the sky,
So the Holy Ghost is given,
Coming on us from on high.

See, a fruitful field is growing,
Blessed fruit of righteousness;
And the streams of life are flowing
In the lonely wilderness.

What a wonderful salvation,
Where we always see His face!
What perfect habitation,
What a quiet resting place!

Blessed quietness, holy quietness,
What assurance in my soul!
On the stormy sea, He speaks peace to me,
How the billows cease to roll!

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Saturday, March 28, 2009

New Land

"But the tribe of Dan had trouble taking possession of their land." Joshua 19:47

This verse has a powerful, double significance for me today.

There is some new 'land' that I'm having trouble 'possessing' today. I don't want to 'possess' it. I'd rather walk away and ignore I've even seen it or know it exists, but it won't change what lies before me.

Many of you may already know the outcome of my Dad's health situation. Yesterday we received news that my Dad has dementia. I don't like this 'land'. I don't want to live there. I'd like to put it up for 'Sale' and move elsewhere. Yet, this is the land the Lord has called our family to possess.

"The tribe of Dan" also has great meaning. You see, my Dad's first name is Denzil, but for the 50 years he worked for Duplate, Canada, which was later bought out by PPG, my Dad was known there as "Dan".

The tribe of Dan is having trouble. His wife and daughters and extended family are all struggling with the unplowed ground we see before us. It is foreign territory and we don't understand the dialect.

However, the Lord goes before us. He knows the way. He will provide the strength to settle and do our best to tend to this land so that it can be as lush and beautiful as possible. We will find our homes here and cherish the life and the gift given.

"...he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live." Acts 17:26

Praying the Lord will enable me to find Joy in this new land.

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Friday, March 27, 2009


Well, for the first time this year, I have read His Word and come away dry.

Longing, desperately to hear His voice. Looking at every Word. Re-reading sentences. Empty.

Lord, I need to see The Word today. I need to experience You in a fresh way. I need to embrace You, know Your presence and feel Your touch.

Restless and sleepless, words repeated in my head at 3am this morning.

"My Daddy had to go away,
But he'll be back most any day
At any moment I might see
My Daddy coming back to me."

I see Shirley Temple's little, tear-stained, cherub face in "The Little Princess", as she recited that rhyme, longing for her Daddy's return.

My heart is so there. After a painful visit at the hospital last night, I want to pound my fists against my Daddy's chest. I want to grab his face in my hands and scream at him to remember me. If my sobbing and desiring were only enough.

Last night throughout my entire visit, my Daddy thought he was on a ship, sinking out a sea. He felt he had no connection with the mainland and that foes were surrounding him. At one point he was certain he heard an airplane overhead and he quickly called for help to flag it down. Maybe it would bring rescue. He encouraged SOS messages to be sent over the radio. Help is needed.

Friends, help IS needed. SOS messages are storming heaven 24/7. We are waiting for that rescue. Daddy was in unbelievable torment last night. Rubbing his head. Afraid. Too afraid to close his eyes and rest as he was certain he would drown in enemy waters surrounding him.

My night has been filled with silent cries. Tears have washed my pillow.

"What do we do when we want to give in because it seems too hard?" I run again into my Heavenly Father's arms. I cry on His shoulder. You Lord, are my refuge and my portion in the land of the living (Psalm 142:5). Chart my Daddy's ship back to the mainland. Be His Life-Preserver.

Lyrics to old hymns flood my mind. "Bridge over troubled waters". "It is well with my soul". "Ship Ahoy". But, it's a childhood chorus, words slightly altered, that is the cry of my heart this morning.

Bring back,
Bring back,
Bring back my Daddy to me, to me
Bring back,
Bring back,
Bring back my Daddy to me.

Praying for renewed hope and courage - especially this afternoon at 2pm. A meeting, not of our doing, has been called. My mom, my sister and I will meet with two Dr's, the Director of Surgical Care, another hospital Director and a Social Worker to discuss the condition and future of my Dad. Needing divine wisdom and guidance.

Thanks for listening. Sorry for not having more of a word of encouragement today. Praying the Lord will rain down on this weary, dry land. Still in need of that Downpour.

Love y'all

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Thursday, March 26, 2009

My Portion

"...he himself would be their allotment" Joshua 13:33

As I read that this morning, I immediately wrote in the margin of my Bible, "my portion".

Portion. An allocation or allotment set aside for a specific purpose.

The lyrics to a chorus keep singing in my head:

"I will bless the Lord forever,
And I will trust Him at all times.
He has delivered me from all things,
And He has set my feet upon the Rock.

I will not be moved, and I'll say of the Lord:
You are my Shield, my Strength, my Portion, Deliverer,
My Shelter, Strong Tower, my very present help in time of need.

Whom have I in Heaven but You.
There's no one I desire beside You.

You have made me glad, and I'll say of the Lord:
You are my Shield, my Strength, my Portion, Deliverer,
My Shelter, Strong Tower, my very present help in time of need.

My very present help in time of need."

I give testimony to the Lord being my Portion, especially as I journey into the 4th week of being at my Dad's bedside. Speaking of which...we had encouraging news last night which I wrote about on my other blog. A Dr. is FINALLY stepping in and wanting to get to the bottom of my Dad's concerns. May the Lord give him wisdom. Praising the Lord this morning.

Two other verses in my reading also held my attention: Joshua 15:19, Acsah asked of Caleb, "Give me another gift. You have already given me...now please give me..." Pondering how often I've been dissatisfied with the gifts the Lord has given me and asked for more.

Also, Joshua 13:1, the Lord said to Joshua, "You are growing old, and much land remains to be conquered." I too am "growing old(er)" and "much land" still "remains to be conquered", eg. mountains of fear, valley's of doubt, wastelands of insecurity etc... A Beth Moore quote comes to mind: "Satan is standing on your God-given ground, daring you to take possession of it".

Let's move forward today ladies, with our Portion, having been set aside for a specific purpose, taking possession of all that is already ours in Christ.

Love & prayers for you all.

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Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Power in His Name

"...rest from war..." Joshua 11:23

A war is raging and my Daddy's mind is the battlefield. Confusion. Delirium. Hallucinations. His speech is irrelevant and incoherent. He is disoriented in time and place as his memory fights with unseen warriors.

Last night the nurses had to wheel his bed out to their station as he would not settle and could not sleep. The evil one is fighting for control, of not just one mind, but five, as my entire family take up shields of faith and strap on helmets of salvation.

God has promised that victory will ultimately be His, but until that time the fighting is fierce. Satan has already advanced far enough. No more ground. We are armed with the Sword of the Spirit. Unseen beings are engaged in active duty. Purposeful, violent conflict intended to capture my Daddy will one day cease. Lord, I pray today You will give him rest from war. May He know Your peace that passes understanding.

"Jesus Your Name is power
Jesus Your Name is might
Jesus Your Name will break every stronghold
Jesus Your Name is life.

Jesus Your Name is healing
Jesus Your Name gives sight
Jesus Your Name will free every captive
Jesus Your Name is life.

Jesus Your Name is holy
Jesus Your Name brings light
Jesus Your Name above every other
Jesus Your Name is life.

Jesus. Something happens, supernatural, when we mention His Name.

Maybe you're like me. Maybe you don't always take the time to listen to songs posted on a blog. I stopped the other day while visiting someone in blog land and this song is continuing to minister to my heart. Say His Name. Something does happen.

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Tuesday, March 24, 2009

The Valley of Trouble

I hate that the "Valley of Trouble" (Joshua 7:26) caught my eye as I read His Word this morning, but truly I feel that I'm living there right now. Surrounded by insurmountable hills on either side, any attempts to leave have been thwarted. Just like the men of Ai were "caught in the middle with fighters on both sides" (Joshua 8:22), the women of Dale are surrounded.

So thankful that beyond what we can see, "the angel of the Lord encamps around those who fear Him, and He delivers them", Psalm 34:7.

Still waiting and trusting in that deliverance. It could be today.

Ever hopeful.

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Monday, March 23, 2009

The Middle

"And there they stood...firmly planted on dry ground in the middle of the Jordan". Joshua 3:17 The Message

Standing in the middle.

Waves crashing all around.

The sound of the wind swirling.

Darkness surrounds, yet my feet are dry.

I'm standing in the middle of my "Jordan". My feet are planted in the center of my impossibility, but God's possibility.

Firmly planted? Not always. Waves of doubt, despair and discouragement threaten to drown my heart. Father, fix my feet on You, my Solid Rock.

"He will not let your foot slip..." Psalm 121:3

Standing firm in Him, in the middle of my "Jordan".

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Sunday, March 22, 2009

The Hands of God

"Indeed, he loves his people, all his holy ones are in his hands." Deueronomy 33:3

Rough day.

Needing to feel His hands holding me.

I've been so encouraged by this devotional, "He's Got the Whole World in His Hands", and the song below.

His Hands hold me.

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Saturday, March 21, 2009

By His Wounds, We Are Healed

This morning the Lord reminded me in Deut. 32:39, "I am the one who kills and gives life; I am the one who wounds and heals;".

Psalm 90 continued in verse 12, "Teach us to realize the brevity of life, so that we may grow in wisdom."

As I continue to spend every day at the hospital with my Dad, I am very aware of the brevity of life and the One who holds all our days. Although Dad has made great strides this week, we are still needing to see the Lord's healing hand. Physically Dad has improved so much, but mentally and emotionally he has far to go. Again last night, in an act of violence, he removed tubes and became agressive with family and care givers, necessitating the restraints to be put back in place. It's so sad to see this happening. Dad has never even raised his voice for all of my life. He is the most gentle man. To see him like this is so difficult.

I join with the Psalmist and say, "Satisfy (me) each morning with Your unfailing love...Give (me) gladness in proportion to (my) former misery!...Let (me) see You work again; let our children see Your glory".

Waiting on Him.

Isaiah 55:3, "...by His wounds we are healed". Thank You, Lord, for the healing of my soul. A deeper wounding. An everlasting healing.

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Friday, March 20, 2009

The Key

A lock hung firmly in place for years. The contents inside were guarded and protected from view. Not that the treasures inside were so valuable and precious that they needed to be kept under lock and key, it was that they were so shameful the owner desired no eyes would ever rest on them. Worried that anyone would see the truth, chains bound the heart that held the pain.

Until one day.

Hands that held the Master Key, gently, lovingly, tenderly spoke words of comfort as the restraint was removed. No longer under bondage, release was given.

"He is the key to your life". Deuteronomy 30:20

That same verse tells us that the lock remains open by L-oving the Lord your God, O-beying Him, C-ommitting yourself firmly to Him, and K-eeping His commands.

"The LORD your God will change your heart", Deuteronomy 30:6

Maybe your heart, like mine, needs healing. Maybe rust has corroded bringing deterioration, damage and despair. Gradually life has been diminished. You have been exposed to elements that have brought destruction and you sit enclosed in darkness, afraid.

He holds the key my friend. He IS the Key. Allow Him to bring release today. There is freedom in the Name of Jesus. Breathe His Name.

Please, PLEASE listen to the words of this song. He who set the captives free, holds your keys.

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Thursday, March 19, 2009

The Discipline of Celebration

I enjoy times of celebration. The laughter, the joy, the happiness. Circumstances are such that celebration is natural and easy. It is the best response and flows effortlessly from a heart overflowing with thankfulness. In our home we look for any reason for a joyous diversion.

The reality is that life is not always easy. Times when rejoicing for this day is hard. Nothing seems good. The call to rejoice and celebrate seems cruel. Impossible. Unfair. Should not be expected or even asked.

Yet, God desires our discipline of celebration as an act of worship. We are saying that even in this moment, God is good and worthy of our praise.

Philippians 4:4 says, "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!"

We are not rejoicing in the painful situation, but in the Lord.

For over two weeks now I have fought the battle between party and pity. Knowing what God desires, yet knowing my hearts despair.

How can I celebrate when my world is turning upside down?

Yesterday my friend Carol reminded me of Psalm 42 and our call to live in His 'yet power'..."for I shall yet praise Him".

Regardless of feelings. Regardless of thoughts. Regardless of what my eyes see. Regardless of what my ears hear. Regardless of not understanding. Regardless of doubts. Regardless of tears. I shall yet praise Him.

"...go and celebrate because of all the good things the LORD your God has given to you and your household." Deuteronomy 26:11

He has given "good things". He has given His love, presence, strength, grace, mercy, peace...His Son. Always a reason to celebrate!

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Wednesday, March 18, 2009

The Great Exchange

The verse that I "camped on" today was Deut 23:5, "He turned the intended curse into a blessing because the LORD your God loves you". That reminded me of Joseph saying, "You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives." Gen.50:20.

When situations look despairing, remember that God is in control. He can turn a "curse" into a "blessing".

To see my blessing of yesterday, visit my "Ponderings" blog. God is answering prayer. Thank you all for praying. Keep it up. We are seeing His Hand.

I'm trusting that very shortly I'll have more time to dedicate to my writing here again. Thank you for offering me grace during this very difficult season. His Word is a Lamp onto my feet and a Light unto my path.

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Tuesday, March 17, 2009

The Place of No Return

"You must never return to Egypt." Deuteronomy 17:16

Egypt. A place of hostility, captivity and slavery.

Where...what is your Egypt? Where have you been held in bondage? From what has God called you to leave behind, and journey to freedom? Is it physical, geographical or emotional?

God doesn't desire Egypt to be our destination, but our place of deliverance.

How strong the calls to return. The Israelites heard them too. It was a continual struggle and battle to keep from retreating to the familiar. Even though it welcomed heartache and pain, it was known.

"Forgetting what is behind..." Philippians 3:13

Pressing forward to the land of Promise.

Impossible alone.

"The LORD your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, is with you!" Deut. 20:1

We can journey forward because our Deliverer holds our hand and our destiny.

No turning back. No turning back.

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Monday, March 16, 2009

Pass or Fail

"The LORD your God is testing you to see if you truly love him with all your heart and soul." Deuteronomy 13:3

I hate tests. I don't want to fail. I want to pass with flying colours. I can remember studying for hours during high school exams. I wanted to be prepared.

Some tests we can't plan for in advance. Suddenly we find ourselves with an "examination paper" before us. With no warning, the teacher says, "Class, begin".

Right now my faith is being assessed. Will I keep believing? Will my witness stand? Regardless of circumstances, will I keep trusting?

I know my heart is faltering. My courage and confidence are wavering. My heart is breaking. I have answered some questions incorrectly. Feelings have triumphed over faith.

YET...I will still praise Him. I will not let go of the Lord. He is my everything. Lord, give me Your strength. Help me bring to mind all You have taught me in the past, the verses and truths, and may my life give testimony to my wonderful Teacher, Savior and Friend.

"Search me, O God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting." Psalm 139:23-24

(An update on my Dad can be found here: "60 Minutes")

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Sunday, March 15, 2009

Send the Rain

Father, I want to thank You this morning for reminding me of Your love. The God of gods, the Lord of lords, the mighty and awesome God loves me. Lord, you will send the rains in their proper season. Rains of healing. Rains of comfort. You will pour down and shower me with a downfall of Your presence if I hold tight to You, worship You and cling to You. You alone Father, are worthy of my praise, the One who has done these mighty miracles that I have seen with my own eyes. Lord, I'm sitting parched. I need a downpour.

here where self and sin and sadness
have displaced the oil of gladness
here in barren desert madness,
weary and dry
cannot run or walk, I'm crawling,
but through shame I hear You calling
clouds of mercy, raindrops falling
downpour, I need a downpour

come, come like the rain,
wash every stain, fall upon me Jesus
river of God, flooding with joy,
rise up in me, Jesus

into my heart's desolation
flows the water of salvation
fill this lowly wasteland with the
shower from above
only You can quench my thirsting,
fill until my heart is bursting
Jesus ever be the first thing
downpour, I need a downpour

Words by James McDonald, Music by Andi Rozier
Copyright 2006, Harvest Songs

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Saturday, March 14, 2009

He Lives in Room 7113

As my sister drove home from the hospital last night with her 12 year old son she said, "Heh, bud.... Other kids may be going to Florida for March break, or travelling, or whatever .. You'll be able to go back to school, and when kids ask you, 'Heh, Daniel ... What did you do on the March break?', you'll be able to say "I saw a MIRACLE!"

Although there is much I would like to write about from today's reading, one verse appears in technicolour.

"The LORD did miraculous signs and wonders before our eyes..." Deuteronomy 6:22

Yes, yesterday I saw the Lord move. I had been held captive as a slave in "Egypt", but He has delivered me, and my Daddy, with His strong hand. He has acted on my behalf "simply" because He loves me (Deut.7:8). He has led me through be-wilderness, humbling me and testing me to prove my character (Deut 8:2). He prepared this journey to teach me to live by every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD and hold on to truth (Deut 8:3). He led me through the great and terrifying wilderness and gave me "water from the rock" to humble me and test me for my own good" (Deut 8:15-16). He has reminded me that I am His special possession, whom He has brought out of slavery by His great strength and powerful arm (Deut 9:29).

"When you have eaten your fill, be sure to praise the LORD your God for the good land he has given you." Deut 8:10

Rejoice with me today. The Lord lives in Room 7113.

"...the LORD your God is among you, and he is a great and awesome God". Deut 7:21.

For an update on my Dad's progess please visit my other blog, "Ponderings".

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Friday, March 13, 2009

A Searching, Seeking, Surrendered Heart

Another day.

Another word.

"...you will search again for the LORD your God. And if you search for him with all your heart and soul, you will find him...you will finally return to the LORD your God and listen to what he tells you. For the LORD your God is a merciful God; he will not abandon you or destroy you..." Deuteronomy 4:29-31

Thank You Lord.

The feeling of being completely forsaken yesterday was met by the loving arms and prayers of so many of you. My sweet friend Melissa reminded me that even Christ prayed and asked His Father, "Why have you forsaken me?"

Yesterday, I never did get to see my Daddy. After 4 phone calls from the hospital, our family was advised not to visit. Daddy had gone so completely violent they didn't feel it was best we come. Our family is caught in "days of Job", each one bringing more bad news. And not only am I watching my Dad suffer, but I'm watching my sweet little Mom have the life torn out of her.

Satan can arouse doubts, infuse anger, make us question, but he cannot, CANNOT claim our hearts, they belong to Christ. Oh for faith, to trust Him more.

Through tears, "This is the day the Lord has made", oh Father please give me the strength to "rejoice and be glad in it".

Thanks again friends for your many words of encouragement and prayers. I can't wait until the day that the Lord breaks through and I have good news to share.

A surrendered heart.

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Thursday, March 12, 2009

Lacking Nothing

This morning I lay in bed before turning on my light to have my quiet time, begging the Lord to give me something to hold on to today. Please Lord...please...remind me of Your presence. I don't see You...I don't feel You...I don't understand You and my faith is taking hit after hit. It's easier to not believe, than believe in a God who appears to be withholding His love and care.

I was reading through in Deut.1. I identified so much with the Israelites as they said, "The LORD must hate us. That's why he has brought us here..." (vs.27).

I continued on. Four verses later I read, "...the LORD your God cared for you all along the way as you traveled through the wilderness, just as a father cares for his child. Now he has brought you to this place. But even after all he did, you refused to trust the LORD your God who goes before you looking for the best...guiding you..." "...The LORD your God has been with you, and you have lacked nothing."

KNOWING that God's Word is truth, I'm asking the Lord to give me strength to believe it today. I have "lacked nothing"? Seems like I sure would be doing certain things differently right now...but if He says I'm lacking nothing...then...with tears streaming down my face...I choose to trust Him.

Our journey through the wildnerness hurts. It's confusing. It seems unending. Right now, I don't understand. My heart is broken beyond belief...I'm so frightened that doubt and anger will plant seeds so deep and take root that my faith will fail. I hate the thought of disappointing God. I want my life to be giving testimony to my God who provides. As my friend Elaine reminded me this morning, Father, may my life be "good soil" for Your planting.

Pray for me today as I look again to Him and offer a very weak sacrfice of praise.

**UPDATE**Friends...the enemy is at work. I need prayer. Click here: Forsaken

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Wednesday, March 11, 2009

City of Refuge

Three words grabbed my attention today: "city of refuge". I'm wanting to go hide out there right now.

God's Word tells me in Hebrews 6:18-19 that Jesus is my "city of refuge" and those "who have fled to him for refuge can have great confidence as we hold to the hope that lies before us. This hope is a strong and trustworthy anchor for our souls."

Hiding in Him again today.

As I shared my heart with a friend the other morning, I told her how the Lord is giving me strength while I'm at the hospital, but I come home and collapse in tears. She reminded me of a song. It is my story right now.

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Tuesday, March 10, 2009

"They Left..."

Repeatedly today we read two little words..."They left..."

As the Israelites remembered their journey to the Promised Land, they recalled all the leaving they had to do to embrace the new.

We can't stand still and move forward with God.

Today I'm asking myself, what do I need to leave to journey to the next step with God?

Friends...how I long to expand on these thoughts...my mind is full, but again I'm rushing this morning to be with my Dad. To read the latest update, please click here: Monday Miseries, Miracle Needed.

Still standing desperately in need of prayer. Holding on to Jesus.

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Monday, March 9, 2009

To Vow or Not To Vow

"It is better not to vow than to make a vow and not fulfill it." (Ecclesiastics 5:5 NIV)

I don't know how many of you are familiar with a children's book entitled, "A Promise is a Promise" by Robert Munsch. Although I must admit to forgetting the storyline, the truth of the title and that catchy phrase has remained with me. A promise is a promise.

Today in Numbers I read of the laws concerning vows. My heart was convicted. I have made an impulsive pledge in the past. My heart was sincere at the time. I had every intent to fulfill my vow, but schedules, demands, and circumstances crowd and squeeze my intent until it lays abandoned.

This morning my heart breaks. I fall before the Lord, knowing my disobedience has disappointed. Father, I am so sorry for the times I fail You. Please see the love within my heart and the desire to follow closely. Humbly I seek Your forgiveness. You have kept every promise You have ever made to me. May I sincerely count the cost before a vow is made and be careful no words are idle promises.

"For no matter how many promises God has made, they are 'Yes' in Christ."
2 Corinthians 1:20

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Sunday, March 8, 2009

Feeling Fatherless

"Our father died in the wilderness..." Numbers 27:3

I've got to be brutally honest here. I read that statement by the daughters of Zelophehad, and my breath caught in my throat.

Right now, my Daddy is in the "wilderness". Last night he didn't even recognize his daughter while visiting. He has wandered into be-wilderness.

I can find strength to handle the physical challenges, but not being known by my Daddy leaves me feeling fatherless.

The Lord gently and graciously provided for Zelophehad's daughters and I know He will care for me, yet my heart is broken.

Please Lord...for a sign of recognition today I pray.

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Saturday, March 7, 2009


I read of Phinehas and his zeal for the Lord.

"Zeal" - a feeling of strong eagerness; excessive fervor; readiness; prompt willingness; tireless devotion; diligent enthusiasm.

Oh Father, give me that zeal for You.

Romans 12:11 encourages us, "Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord."

Let's be zealous for the Lord today girls!

(Although I am continuing posting daily, I'm sorry that my words here are few this week. I know that 'little' can become much in the Master's Hands. I trust my life will settle down soon and I will again be able to devote time to writing here. Thank you to all of you who are continuing in prayer for my family. If you want an update on my Dad, please visit my other blog, Ponderings.)

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Friday, March 6, 2009


"I see him, but not here and now. I perceive him, but far in the distant future." Numbers 24:17a

Are you struggling to see Him today? Are clouds blocking your view? Is misunderstanding obstructing your perception? Are circumstances hiding His face? Do doubts deny the delight of His presence? Have you lost sight of Him in your situation?

I'm struggling right now to see God. Frustration. Illness. Anger. Confusion. Pain. Exhaustion. Heartbreak. These have put up barriers causing tears that fog my vision.

Father, draw close today. Give me a glimpse of Your glory.

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Thursday, March 5, 2009

A Life Lived Well

Obituaries. Two were given in today's text.

"While they were there, Miriam died and was buried." Numbers 20: 1

"When the people realized that Aaron had died, all Israel mourned for him thirty days." Numbers 20:29

The following video isn't easy to watch. The message is powerful. We only have one life to love. What is your living saying today, and how will you be remembered? No regrets my friends. No regrets.

Before I go, I just want to thank all of you again for your prayers and love surrounding my family. I am keeping my other blog updated with news and I just wish there was some way to let you all know how very precious you are to me. Your encouragement has been my "Aaron and Hur" enabling me to stand. Love to you all.

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Wednesday, March 4, 2009

"But be careful not to treat the holy gifts...as though they were common." Numbers 18:32

Treating the sacred as standard. The divine as daily. The favoured as familiar. The miraculous as mediocre. The revered as routine. The exceptional as expected. The amazing as average.

I confess I do this all the time. I lose the wonder. I take for granted the blessings I have received at God's hand.

Father, forgive me. I humbly admit to treating 'the holy gifts' as common. Gifts of Your presence...your peace...communion...sacred elements. Lord, you have graced and gifted me, and I am so unworthy. Ignite a renewed passion today. Give me eyes to see. A heart that surrenders, rejoices and stands in awe. Lord there is nothing ordinary, for You are an extraordinary God. I remove my sandals. I'm standing on holy ground.

(I realize this is short today. I did not receive much sleep last night. To read an update on my Dad, please click here: Trying to Believe that No News is Good News. I would appreciate your continued prayers. Thank you.)

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Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Tassels of Remembrance

Last night I was sharing my concerns for my Dad with a friend via Facebook. This morning he faces surgery and I'm anxious about the results. As I was saying goodbye and signing off, her message came back, "Don't forget your key".

My key?

To my confusion, she replied. When she is going through a difficult or uncertain time she holds an old fashioned key in her hand. On the key is written the reference to John 3:16. She explained that the key helps her remember to focus on the important things...the 'key' things and helps her not to worry. The 'key' encourages her to open her mind's door to the truth that God is in control and that He is with her.

Being a visual girl, I loved this idea.

This morning in our devotional time, God confirmed the importance of having these tangible items of remembrance.

"...you must make tassels for the hems of your clothing and attach them with a blue cord. When you see the tassels, you will remember and obey all the commands of the LORD...The tassels will help you remember that you must obey all my commands..." Numbers 15:38-40

People have various tricks to jog their memory. My Mom always reverses the order of wedding ring/engagement ring on her finger so that when she looks down and sees them switched around she recalls the reason and it prompts her action. I've heard of people who attach a safety pin to their shirt for the same purpose. I have a beautiful, pink "faith" bracelet that I wear to remind me to pray for my friend Cindy who is fighting cancer. I have a picture of my precious friend Holly on my mantel that invites me to pray for her family every time I see her smiling face. I have a necklace from my dear friend Elaine that reminds me of His peace for my journey. My treasured friend Carol gave me a piece of jewellery that looks like a chain of daisies, reminding me of God's unending love for me. I could just keep going on and on.

What 'tassels of remembrance' do you have sewn into your life as reminders to keep your heart focused on Him? This adornment on the Isrealites clothing not only drew their attention, but issued an invitation for obedience. The tassels became an outward sign of an inner surrender that prompted a faithful following.

As I close today, I ask for your prayers for my Dad. I wrote about my heart for my Daddy here last night. Carrying my key. So thankful for my God who holds all the keys.

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Monday, March 2, 2009

Within His Reach

"The LORD answered Moses, 'Is the LORD's arm too short? You will now see whether or not what I say will come true for you.'" Numbers 11:23

If only I was just a fraction of an inch taller. Everything within me was straining to just nudge that box of Blueberry Yogurt Bars on the top shelf. I sensed I was almost there, but the tips of my fingers were just a hair away from making contact. Oh, if only my 6 foot son was here. My goal was outside my reach.

This was the scenario on Saturday as I attempted to complete my grocery shopping. If shelves are going to be that high, with shoppers just over the 5 foot mark...or shorter, they should be well stocked so we don't need to be jumping to see if the product we are searching for is actually there. Yes, I have been known to jump in the aisle to scan that top shelf for the item I'm looking for when my height has rendered me visually impaired. I've asked other 'taller' customers, or required the aid of an employee, when all my efforts have failed to accomplish the task.

I'm wondering today if anyone feels outside His reach? Are there moments when circumstances, situations and feelings have you huddled in a corner, feeling alone and abandoned? Do you ever feel forgotten by the One who said He will never leave you and always love you?

Sometimes it's a hard walk between the head and the heart. Time passes. Life isn't going the way we had planned. Answers that we felt should have already been in the past. still stand unrequited. The journey seems long. The truths and promises we've been taught don't appear to be transpiring, at least not right now.

What about your position on the 'shelf'? No-one is reaching for you. Others are being chosen and placed in the 'cart', but there you sit. No extra effort is being given to choose you, yet your life is filled with value that you wish others were hungry for as well.

Today my heart has been so encouraged to know that I am never outside His reach. Our reaching might be in vain, but His never proves to no avail. For God, reaching means touching. Although there have been times I have wandered outside of His will, I have always remained inside the reach His love.

In frustration I have surrendered my efforts and walked away, but God never gives up, lets down or stops reaching. Scarred hands touch every wounded heart.

that health concern...within His reach;
the prodigal child...within His reach;
uncertain financial strain...within His reach;
feelings of loneliness...within His reach;
deep emotional pain...within His reach;
struggling marriage....within His reach;
family crisis...within His reach;
overwhelming fear...within His reach;
adoption papers...within His reach;
university choice...within His reach;
future vocation...within His reach;
strained relationship...within His reach;
wounded soul...with His reach;
broken heart...within His reach;
You are...always and forever...within His reach.

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Sunday, March 1, 2009


We stood with heads bowed, holding hands. A hush fell over the room as a Pastor and very dear friend, raised his hand to proclaim God's blessing over us.

"The LORD bless you, and keep you:
The LORD make his face shine upon you, and be gracious unto you:
The LORD lift up his countenance upon you, and give you peace."
Numbers 6:24-26

The room remained silent. With tears in my eyes, we hugged our families goodbye before setting off together as husband and wife. A sacred moment wrapped in God's blessing.

Years later, on my son's first day of school, I would begin praying the following blessing over him. He wouldn't go to sleep without his blessing.

"O Lord Jesus, You love the innocence of childhood and lovingly embraced and blessed the little children who were brought to You. Anticipate Christopher's needs with Your tender blessings and grant that no evil will corrupt his mind, but that advancing in age, in wisdom and in grace, Christopher would live so as to please You always. Watch over Your child Lord, and as his days increase bless and guide him wherever he may be keeping him unspotted from the world. Strengthen him when he stands. Comfort him when discouraged or sorrowful. Raise him up if he should fall and in his heart, may Your peace, which passes understanding abide all the days of his life. Lord, be a shield of protection about him. We love you Christopher. May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make His face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you. May the Lord lift up His countenance on you and give you peace. Amen"

Praying for the Lord's blessing to be upon all who read this today. May He "raise you up on eagle's wings, bear you on the breath of dawn, make you to shine like the sun, and hold you in the palm of His Hand."

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