Redeeming a "No"

I knew as I pressed "Send", I was responding from a place of personal fear.  There wasn't any way I could envision myself being able to answer this request in a positive way.  Just thinking of fulfilling this responsibility made my palms sweat and my heart race.  Feelings of disappointing the Lord filled my heart, but I just couldn't do it.

Each year mothers from our congregation are asked to take part in the special Mother's Day Services.  One will read the Scripture.  Another will pray.  It is a lovely blessing being asked to take part.  Several years ago the invitation was extended to me.  I felt honoured to be asked, but the thought of standing on the church platform in front of so many people absolutely terrified me.

I know that sounds strange coming from someone who actually speaks at Women's Events, but it is true.  Most often when God invites me to share at ladies events I take my trusty stool with me and speak from a sitting position.  This keeps the audience from seeing my trembling legs.  Not only that, but I've only spoken to groups of women.  This would be reading and/or praying in the presence of both men and women.  I couldn't do it.  Thinking about it made me nauseous.

Over the past year the Lord has been daily asking me to trust Him more.  He has been asking me to abandon self-reliance and abandon myself to Him.  Recently I told the Lord that if such an invitation was ever extended to me again, without hesitation I would respond favourably and rely on His strength.

I think in many ways the Lord has been preparing me for the invitation to come.  Early February I trusted the Lord as I stood on this very same platform as my role in Women's Ministries required I act as welcomer and announcer for our large ladies event.  Early March I spoke at a ladies retreat for the entire weekend without using my stool.  More recently I've had to fill-in on Tuesday mornings speaking to approximately 150 ladies at our weekly Women's Bible Study gatherings.  Step by step God has been asking me to trust Him and in His strength alone I've been obedient.  Anyone without this disabling fear may not understand, but it has seriously controlled many of my decisions and I've missed out on opportunities to allow the Lord to work through me.

When the phone rang this morning I had no idea what the call was going to be about.  I recognized the number as being our church phone, but was not expecting the request about to be made.  Actually, when I recognized the Pastor's voice on the phone I assumed he was calling concerning something entirely different.  However, within seconds he asked if I would be willing to say a prayer at our Mother's Day service.

This time initial fear collided with overwhelming delight.  So humbled, when by God's grace He offers a "do-over".  An invitation that was met with my "no" years ago, was extended again to me this morning.  There's no guarantee opportunities like this will come around a second time.  Still feeling anxious, but I responded with an enthusiastic "YES".  Immediately I recognized this as a gift from the Lord.  God is redeeming a fear and He alone will help me walk this out in faith.  "He is my personal bravery..."  Hab 3:19 (AMP)

Is the fear still there?  Most definitely.  But so is my God!!!!  Greater is He who is in me.  Praise His Name!

I would so appreciate your prayers as I prepare for this day and trust Him.  May I not live these in-between moments with anxiousness, but KNOW the Lord who has issued this divine invitation will fill me with His courage.

"G" is for Gideon!

"Lord...it's 8am!  I need to have an answer by 9am!  I know You think an hour is a long time, but I've been praying for weeks and I still don't feel any closer to a decision."

This is what I was speaking to the Lord, out loud, as I was getting ready to head to Bible study this morning.  You see, today is the day all our study choices for the Fall must be submitted to the church.  It may seem early, but when approximately 200 ladies attend our weekly Bible studies, books need to be ordered, facilitators put in place and opportunity for sign-up offered before the summer months are upon us.  (I know...we haven't even enjoyed a taste of Spring yet and I'm talking Summer, but it is coming...I promise!)

For weeks now I have diligently been praying for guidance as to which study the Lord desires me to facilitate next Fall.  I had narrowed my choice to five studies from an extensive, pre-approved list that had been confirmed by our pastoral staff.  I prayed.  I listened.  I prayed some more.  For those of you who know me via social media, I threw the question out to you for input.  I asked friends. I listened.  I prayed.

God was silent.

This was so unlike past experience.  Every year as I've been called to facilitate studies, the Lord clearly has given direction and I've had the assurance of being in the center of His will.  I was down to an hour and counting.  I trusted the Lord wouldn't disappoint me, but minutes were ticking by.

Earlier this morning, during my quiet time, a strange thing had happened.  I was reading in Judges 6, the story of Gideon.  Gideon's story holds a special place in my heart.  The Lord used that portion of Scripture the morning of my surgery in 2011 to let me know "you will not die" and that He would "consume all" the cancer.  As I read about Gideon again today I thought, one day I'll do the study of Gideon at the church.  (I'm currently working on Priscilla Shirer's "Gideon" study on my own, and just purchased the DVD kit less than a week ago.)  That thought birthed another question:  Lord, do You want me to do the study of Gideon this Fall?  Do my five choices become six?

As I continued getting ready to head out I said to the Lord, (yes, I spoke out loud again, after all, I was the only one home at this particular moment), "Father You could give direction in so many different ways.  You could even make my cell phone go off with the answer."

IMMEDIATELY my cell phone vibrated!!!  I'm. Not. Kidding!!!

A text had come in from a friend inquiring about Bible study.  She didn't have to go into work today and she was asking if it was appropriate to come and sit in on one of the classes.  Yes, of course she could come.  It is always appropriate to come and learn from God's Word.  I told her to join in our group if she wanted.  We've been a "no-homework" study this past year, (long story), and so our group would be a great one to just slip into, participate and enjoy.

As I finished my text conversation with her, I felt the Lord impressing on my heart the need for our church to offer another "in class, no homework" study.  I was balking this.  Although it has gone well this year and God confirmed in so many ways that this was indeed His plan for the current study I was facilitating (we had ladies in our group who had never participated in a Bible study previously so they were able to learn how to do a Bible study), I'm a homework girl.  I love facilitating a study where everyone comes prepared with their answers.  The text that arrived on my phone moments ago spoke to my heart concerning the need for another study that offers this training opportunity.

Well, if I was to offer a no homework study, three of my choices were instantly eliminated.  Because of the volume of material, there wasn't any possible way to do them "in class" in the 7 or 8 months of weekly discussion time.  Now I was down to a choice of three others.

Thirty minutes and counting.  I calmly sat down at my computer.  The studies being considered each had a DVD component.  I would watch the first 10 minutes of each one and see if anything jumped off the screen at me.  I listened to the first one.  Great teaching, but nothing resonated.  I moved to the second one.  Again, fabulous teaching, but no inner stir.  I moved to the final possible choice.  Suddenly I heard these words: You've been waiting for a green light, for something to tell you to go.  Well, this is it...go, go, go!!!

Guess which study it was?  :-)

Gideon!  The reason I hadn't previously heard from God regarding my other five choices was because not one of them was His choice!  He couldn't choose from a list which didn't include His study.

I instantly felt an overwhelming peace and assurance that this is what God wanted!  Not only that, but I then noticed another friend's post on Facebook.  She said, "Today's letter is 'G'".  Hahahaha...yes it is!

There is sooo much more to this story, as less than an hour later, God also confirmed in my heart that I'll be facilitating an evening Bible study of Beth Moore's, "Children Of the Day".  I'm. So. Excited!!!! But that's another story, for another day.  :-)

Lord, thank You that Your timing is perfect.  Thank You that when we continue to wait on You, we have the assurance of Your hand guiding us. Thank You for the joy of knowing with certainty that we are walking in Your will and Your way.

Oh...and PS...yes, "Gideon" just happened to be on that pre-approved list! *smile*

Winter Interlude 2014

Heading to the end of February, almost a sixth of the year gone, and here's my first post of 2014.  Life has been busy.  Let me catch you up.

January was filled with happy preparations as we anticipated the ladies Winter Interlude event at the church.  Being Women's Event's Ministries Coordinator, my days were spent planning, meeting and troubleshooting.  It was a time of great excitement as we had Sharon Glasgow, from Proverbs 31 Ministries coming to share 3 sessions around the Discipleship theme.  Sharon was staying at my home, and for the first time we had a guest in our newly renovated spare room.

The day before the event my team and I were at the church decorating and setting up when we suddenly heard the news, that due to a snowstorm in Chicago, Sharon's flight, scheduled to land here in just another 5 hours, was cancelled.  Momentary tears filled my eyes as I shared the news with my team, and we went straight to prayer.  After calling on the Lord to provide in some way, a dear friend serving alongside me suggested we then applaud and start praising God for the answer that was already on it's way.  Sure enough, about an hour later, I was talking with Sharon again and her flight had been rerouted and she was on her way.  (As an aside, God needed Sharon on another flight.  There was a gentleman who needed to hear about Jesus...but that's her story!)

The weekend was amazing!  The words that continue to be voiced from all who attended are "Spirit-filled".  From the time Sharon arrived until her too soon departure, she called us to a closer walk with the Lord, sharing personal stories as well as Biblical example.  Honestly, it was one of the most incredible encounters, not with Sharon (although...what a precious treasure), but with the Lord.  I loved how all the evaluation forms reflect that as well.  Although Sharon was loved by all, (the event was three weeks ago and I'm still continually hearing how everyone wants to have her return), God was loved more and all the responses share that the ladies met Jesus that day.

Musically we had Karlene Fletcher lead us into worship.  She is a gifted, humble musician with the voice of an angel whose countenance glows from an inner intimacy with the Lord.  Having auditioned for one of the "Idol" reality television shows, Karlene made progress through the process, but in the end was not chosen to be part of the program.  She sings for One and God used her that weekend to lead us to praise the Lord in spirit and in truth.

Our time together ended all too quickly, but it will be remembered forever.

Next time I will share how I met God as my "personal bravery" that day.  Praising Him for all He is doing in my life.

A 12th Month Redemption

Good morning friends.

I was so blessed by this short devotional this morning I had to share it.

Whatever your memories so far this year, God is still able to redeem the time and bring blessing in such a miraculous way of reversal that His joy is what you recall from 2013.

Magnetic Hill

I always look for her every Sunday.  She sings in the choir and she is the happiest looking lady.  You have to notice her.  Others smile momentarily, but she glows.   The joy of the Lord radiates.  It's not a fake smile or one that forms upon recognition of someone in the congregation, it is birthed in Who's she is and all that Christ has done for her.

Recently I've heard or received several teachings about what being filled with Jesus looks like, or 'should' look like.  Those who know the Lord personally and intimately need to be going out of their way to celebrate the gift of Christ and His salvation.

Sitting at Tim Horton's last week, there were seven of us enjoying a time of friendship and fellowship.  There was laughter and sharing.  There was unmistakable joy.  Several times as I let my eyes wander to others sitting nearby, they were looking at us not in an annoying, be quiet kind of way, but in a longing, I wish I had that much fun kind of way.

My Pastor said last Sunday that Christianity should be a magnet.  We need to live Christianity lavishly in our communities.  Tozer writes that we need to deliberately encourage a desire of God.  Complacency is a foe.  Acute desire must be present.

Do you love coming to church and gathering with God's family?  Does your face show it?

Oh Lord, give us a holy longing and desire.  Birth a new freshness in our hearts.  May we be, as my Pastor said, gripped by the grandness of God's grace.  God's power on display in us can be breathtaking, captivating and inviting.

I don't know how many of you have ever visited Eastern Canada, but in Moncton, New Brunswick there is an attraction called "Magnetic Hill".  It's really a type of optical illusion.  When a car is placed in neutral at the base of the hill, it will begin to roll backwards, apparently uphill.  To observers it looks like the car is being drawn by an uncontrollable, magnetic force.

I was thinking last Sunday as my Pastor was sharing, that our church sits on a "hill".  Could we be our cities "Magnetic Hill"?  Could we become known as such a contagious collection of Christ-followers that others are drawn to come and check us out, desiring to see and know the Force that compels us?  In order for that to happen we need to put smiles on our faces and live with spectacular, radiant joy.

Can others really see Jesus in you today?

This and That

This. is. a. busy. season.

Over the past month or so I have been writing a blog post immediately after having my quiet time with the Lord first thing in the morning.  Discipline and time would coincide, but unfortunately right now, instead they collide.

It's so frustrating.  The Lord speaks to my heart.   I journal and get so excited.  Then I look at my clock.  I'm already running late for the days activities.  December is a happening month!

I'm also praying about what the Lord wants me to do in 2014.  Recently the Lord has brought the idea of an on-line chronological daily Bible reading endeavor  that would provide interaction and accountability to those wanting to stay consistently connected to God's Word.  So many need a place and a friend with whom to be accountable.  This would be a huge commitment for me.  Writing. Video's. Guest posts. Daily consistency.

(I have a Christian broadcast on in the background as I'm typing this and the speaker just said: "We need to be accountable!")

Waiting on the Lord for His direction.  Wondering if anyone would even be interested.   Then there's the four Bible Studies I'm keeping up with that will resume in January.  Lord, give me wisdom.

In other news, today my church hosted the Message of Hope, Christmas Event Special for ladies.  Over 200 women attended the catered breakfast and were encouraged to keep trusting the Lord.  It was a delightful morning.  One precious elderly lady who was visiting for the first time, shared with me through tears afterwards, that the morning reminded her of teaching she received in her childhood and how much she loved Jesus.  She shed tears.  Not tears of sadness, but tears of great love.  So overwhelmed by His love there is no other response.  Words fall short.  Emotions overflow.  I think sometimes tears are the most beautiful compliment of loving expression.

Anyway, just wanted to share what was going through my mind tonight.  I feel like I fail the days I don't have time to write here.  I can be very demanding on myself.

Not sure what tomorrow will hold.  I miss not being here daily.

I love all of you who take the time to visit. You are each so dear to my heart.

Easy Out

"...be imitators of God..." Ephesians 5:1

Did they really just say that?  I must have heard incorrect.  Yes, that was it; I had to have missed a word because they couldn't have said what I thought I heard.  Then the sentence was repeated again.  No, that's what was said.  Really?

Recently I heard someone say this more as a statement than a question:  Do you really think we should follow Jesus as our example?

Uh...yes!!!

Their thinking was that Jesus is perfect, making it impossible to truly follow Him.  We will never be able to walk completely in His footsteps.  His shoes are just too big to fill.  Maybe He's not realistic to follow.

OK, I'll grant you that there is only one Perfect, and that's Christ, but this isn't reason not to use Him as our Guide.  A student is only as good as their teacher.  Following a sinless Teacher we have the best example.  Others may fail and lead us astray, but there is no fear of that with Jesus.  Because of a sinless Savior we can always trust His teaching to be truth.  He is Truth.

Yes, His standard is high, and His commands unattainable on our own, but what is being suggested by this other way of thinking?  We lower the bar and accept less?   I would rather spend my life making Christ my goal.

Here's the thing.  Following Jesus we start off knowing that this side of heaven it's impossible to be completely like Him.  We have already failed.  If we instead follow a good, yet somewhat flawed guide, we can justify and excuse our own shortcomings and maybe we won't be expected to be quite so "holy".  I mean, we want a little "fun", right?  Following Jesus is going to mean submission and surrender.  On the whole, we're not usually great with either.  Life would be easier if we followed David or Paul, Jonah or even Abraham.  They all cut us a little slack.  But Jesus?  Really?

I guess one question would be what's your motive in following?  If obedience is rising from a heart of love and thankfulness for all He has done for you, there is absolutely nothing He could ask that would seem too much.

Another question might be, how are you trying to follow Him?  Are you doing it in your own strength?  No wonder you're weary.  It's only with God that all things become possible.

How full are you of self?  Are you pretty much in control and hate giving up the reigns?  Jesus requires us to deny self.

Yes, His Word calls us to be imitators of God, yet we continue to long for an easy out.

One more question.

Did He take the "easy out" for you?