The book of Philemon is only one short chapter. It was a letter Paul wrote to his co-worker Philemon, after becoming aware of the connection Philemon had with a runaway slave named Onesimus. Paul had enjoyed the privilege of introducing both men to the gift of salvation, and now Onesimus was returning to his earthly master, and although by Roman law Philemon could press for Onesimus's execution because of his escape, Paul was encouraging him to welcome the servant back without recourse. Paul writes, "I appeal to you to show kindness to my child, Onesimus." Paul, in his advocacy for the slave, even writes, "If he has wronged you in any way or owes you anything, charge it to me."
How do we respond when someone has "done us wrong"? We are so quick to desire consequences for the evil exercised against us. We are often more willing to forgive if the pardon still comes with punishment. Paul is urging Philemon to forget any of the past mistakes and welcome Onesimus back as family. "He is no longer like a slave to you. He is more than a slave, for he is a beloved brother...Now he will mean much more to you, both as a man and as a brother in the Lord."
Unforgiveness neglects to believe the transforming work that God can do in a life fully surrendered to Him. We cannot negate the power of the cross and the saving blood of Christ that through rebirth makes a life completely new, healing relationships. The one thing that is continually needed over the long haul in all connections with others is forgiveness.
I do not know that we ever make it through a day without the need to extend forgiveness, whether to others or to ourselves. Proverbs 19:11 tells us that we earn respect when we overlook wrongs. This does not mean that we deny or dismiss actions that need correction, but even those interactions can be handled lovingly, resulting in forgiveness and healing. Absolutely no relationship can survive without forgiveness.
We need to be less concerned about our personal hurts and more concerned about our personal holiness. When we struggle to forgive another, we are forgetting who we are. As Paul offered to pay the debt of a slave, a debt Paul did not owe, his letter stands as a perfect illustration of what Jesus did for us. We were all born sinners, guilty of turning away from God, owing a debt we could not pay and worthy of death. It is only because of the price Christ paid for us on the cross that we can stand forgiven and restored. Christ has extended unfathomable kindness to us.
Colossians 3:13 encourages, "Make allowance for each other's faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." "Make allowance." Do not be too sensitive. Cut some slack. Lighten up. Forgive freely. Remove any attached strings. Drop the grudge. Even when grievances are real, we must remember grace. In grace, we don't just forgive, we show kindness. Whose name has God placed on your heart to forgive? God is saying in this moment, "I appeal to you to show kindness to ________."
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