Leaving

“So Abram left, as the LORD had told him...” Genesis 12:4

Leaving. Not a welcomed walk. Surrendering the comforts of our present 'home' for a fresh abiding. It could be physical, but more often it is emotional. Letting go of the familiar and embracing the foreign. Relinquishing the now for the new. If God is truly my hearts desire, why is that letting go so difficult? Why is it not easy to abandon all else for the pursuit of the Lover of my soul?

Maybe God is opening an opportunity for ministry, yet the steps seem uncertain. Waiting for clearer vision, desiring divine confirmation, we are hesitant to take that next step. The invitation was extended, but direction either way has been unclear. If we believe God is in control of our life, and everything that touches us is first sifted through His hands of allowance, could this not be His request? The Lord frequently uses His children in our lives as counselors and guides. Would this leaving and following bring God glory? Would faith be required and strengthened?

I was thinking about another area of my life where I've been seeking God's direction. I desire so much that a voice from heaven would just boom down in great clarity making my obedience easier. But God is not after ease. As His silence has remained, I'm wondering...is the unsettled feeling His Spirit? Is the longing for change His sign? He gives us the desires of our hearts (Psalm 37:4). Is this desire the planting of the Lord and He is waiting to see if I will surrender something I love for Someone I love? Do I love Him more? Maybe God doesn't always make every decision perfectly clear for the purpose of revealing our heart. In our choosing we show our allegiance as to whether we love the Lord just in word, of if our lives are completely His, willingly following Him anywhere in everything. There's a sacrifice required, yet how can I even begin to compare this giving up with the cost of Christ's sacrifice.

It is only human to want to see before we step out on a new path with God, yet the call alone should evoke the obedience. I like all my “ducks in a row”. When I plan a vacation, before leaving home my itinerary is settled. Hotels booked. Destination planned. Steps of faith don't come that neatly organized. New journey's require leaving behind and facing the uncertain and unknown. Trying to carry the past into my present will weigh heavily and slow down my walk, dragging my feet as I carry the needs from a previous season. God is saying, “Let it go!”

I believe it was Oswald Chambers who wrote that we cannot worry about the positions or people left behind. God is aware of their needs and He will supply for the gap left due to our obedience. Our remaining and refusal to respond to the Lord will only rob another of their opportunity to answer God's call.

What has God been asking of you? Where have you felt that struggle and conflict of interest between you and God? Throw off all that hinders and like Abram, go without knowing all the details. Just take His hand. He will lead you to His Promise Land.

So Joy left, as the LORD had told her...

Then Yesterday

I've been very unsettled lately. God appears to be taking a sabbatical of silence. There's been a void and nothingness that has awakened my heart in search of more while living in my less.

Around me stories circle of 'burning bushes'. God is speaking, calling and directing others, yet though my ears are attentive for His voice, I'm strangely detached.

No voice.

Silence.

God's silence does not go unnoticed. It's deafening in it's absence, while all the while my heart cries for just a whisper.

Friends share how God is working in their lives, fulfilling dreams, designing opportunities and I rejoice with them while wondering what's wrong with me?

I echo Christ's cry, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46 NIV)

Some days, does it not feel like you are living in a soundproof room?

Yet, as each day is met with silence, I'm learning that instead of faith wavering, it's growing. Without answers, trust grows deeper roots. In the face of darkness, God is still there. I don't need His voice to validate His presence. My walk with God is often more like a series of bars of rest in a musical score, than it is a brilliantly orchestrated overture. Silence is the watering for the flower of faith to grow. Not silence on my part, but on God's. I keep talking to God. I keep expecting and anticipating while accepting. God's love for me is not defined by how many times He has spoken to me. His love was defined once and for all on an old wooden cross. Love reaching and touching beyond the power of words.

My faith is not founded on signs, the sensational, spectacular or superficial. It is founded on a Savior.

"Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believe." John 20:29 (NIV)

God's silence does not indicate abandonment or inactivity. The 400 years that span Malachi to Matthew were silent, yet not quiet. "In fact, the silences of Jesus are as eloquent as His words..."

Seasons of silence need to be endured. Walked through. God's silence can actually act like "a pretty accurate barometer of whether we really have faith in God." (A. Gregory)

Sometimes all I hear is the empty echo of my own voice. Though I know He is a fixed variable, at times He seems more irregular than constant.

Then yesterday.

His purpose was explained.
His presence bathed my quiet time in His Word.
His pleasure gave companionship as I walked.
His peace filled my heart as I shared concerns with a friend.
His plan was opened through an invitation.
His promises rebirthed hope.
His power infused me with excitement.
His pursuit took my breath away.
His pulse beat within my heart.

Then yesterday.

Now today.

I walk it with renewed wonder and knowing.

In the silence, God is here.