Miles Apart

"And so the Lord says, 'These people say they are mine. They honour me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me. And their worship of me is nothing but man-made rules learned by rote.'" Isaiah 29:13

I'm usually not that emotional. In fact, I've been praying for the Lord to soften my heart. After years of building a wall and being strong, it takes a lot to penetrate this tough exterior. This verse had me sobbing on the floor beside my bed. Wounds from a Friend. God was speaking to me.

I know this verse well. I've quoted it. I've used it to reflect the actions of others. I've prided myself in having a 'close heart'. I could write volumes around it. I could impress and astound you with profound thoughts that great minds have shared in regards to this teaching, but I'd be doing the very thing this verse warns against. I'd be honouring the Lord with my words, while my heart is far from Him.

Oh Lord, I'm so tired of words. Growing up in the church I know them all. I can easily persuade and move emotions with my pen. I know how to express thoughts to evoke and manipulate a desired response. Writing is often my way of wearing a mask. I can hide behind sentences and paragraphs.

Like children who holler out "Jesus" for every question asked in Sunday School, I know the expected response and can give it out with clarity and conviction. But, where is my heart?

My heart is far from the Lord. My heart is immersed in lesser things. My heart is cold and dry. My heart is resentful and envious. My heart is jealous and angry. My heart is hurt and confused. My heart is repentant and broken. My heart is weeping and longing to see the Lord. My heart is tired.

My worship is nothing. It's lost it's love and passion. It stands when called to stand and sits when told to sit. Where is that unbridled desire that used to burn for more? Complacent and content to conform, the call to contagious joy is gone.

Lord, Your Word says, "The humble will be filled with fresh joy from the Lord." (Isaiah 29:19) Father, I need that filling of 'fresh Joy'.

God, empty me completely so that You can begin a new work within. I need to see You. Lord, I beg for a revelation. Not answers. Not action. I need Your abiding presence. I need to know You are here in this very room. I need to see Your smile. I need to feel Your touch. I need to rest my head on Your shoulder and be embraced by Your loving arms.

Lord, I desperately need only You.

Father, please forgive my wayward heart. Remove again all other gods that have taken Your place. Lord, remove the pressure of performance and the longing to be loved by anyone but You. Remove comparison and competition and replace it with acceptance and assurance. Bridge the gap Lord, between my heart and Your presence. We've been miles apart.

"I'm so tired. I'm tired. I've read every book. I've sung every song. My mind may be right, but my heart feels so wrong." ("Could You Be Messiah?")

Building Reservoirs

"Between the city walls, you build a reservoir for water from the old pool. But you never ask for help from the One who did all this. You never considered the One who planned this long ago." Isaiah 22:11

Have you built any reservoirs lately? Who's plans did you follow? Yours or God's? It's not the building of reservoirs that's in error, but the building of them on our own. The Lord wants us to prepare, but our efforts are pointless without prayer. The Lord must guide our activities.

"Never" is a pretty strong word. Not ever. Not at all. At no time in the past or future. Not in any circumstances. You never ask. You never considered. Running our own race. Going ahead with no thought of inquiring of the Lord. Taking control of the reins and then desiring God to bless our attempts. Plans fail for lack of counsel...His counsel.

So, what's on your agenda today? Have you surrendered your schedule? Does He want you "building reservoirs"? Maybe you need to take some time to find out.

His Faithful Love Endures Forever

"His faithful love endures forever." Psalm 136

I am no Psalmist, but today I wanted to do something different as my reading in the Psalms is coming to a close. Captured by the pattern of writing in Psalm 136, I have written my heart's Psalm. May it give praise alone to my Lord.

Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good!
His faithful love endures forever.
In His great mercy, He spared my life
His faithful love endures forever.
When Doctor's felt there was no hope of survival,
His faithful love endures forever.
I received a miracle from His hand.
His faithful love endures forever.
Give thanks to Him who blessed me with a godly family and heritage.
His faithful love endures forever.
He called me to be His own.
His faithful love endures forever.
He adopted me into His forever family.
His faithful love endures forever.
He has led me in safety and watched over me.
His faithful love endures forever.
From wilderness wanderings to mountaintop moments, He has always been with me.
His faithful love endures forever.
His voice has instructed me and His Word has guided me.
His faithful love endures forever.
Early in the morning I seek Him.
His faithful love endures forever.
At night He is still with me.
His faithful love endures forever.
When fear attacks and worry threatens,
His faithful love endures forever.
He reminds me that I am His.
His faithful love endures forever.
He has gifted me with a husband and a son.
His faithful love endures forever.
He is shaping me into a godly wife, mother daughter, friend.
His faithful love endures forever.
His patience with me is unending.
His faithful love endures forever.
He knows my secret longings and innermost thoughts.
His faithful love endures forever.
He travels with me through valleys and seasons of drought.
His faithful love endures forever.
When my heart is cold, He warms me with His love.
His faithful love endures forever.
He forgives all my sin.
His faithful love endures forever.
He takes great delight in who I am.
His faithful love endures forever.
Give thanks to the LORD, the God of heaven.
His faithful love endures forever.

Why Can't These Things Please You?

"The LORD does whatever pleases him..." Psalm 135:6

You know, I wish every day my heart was "up" and I could write words of encouragement. I wish I could always see the good, and regardless of feelings live according to truth. But, I'll be honest. Some days...like today...I struggle...I question...my mind is bombarded with 'why's'.

If the Lord does whatever He pleases, why isn't it pleasing to Him right now to intervene in my Dad's situation? Why isn't it pleasing to Him to breathe life back into that marriage? Why isn't it pleasing to Him to heal my friends Mom? Why isn't it pleasing to Him to mend that relationship? Why isn't it pleasing to Him to bring that prodigal home? Why isn't it pleasing to Him to see that spouse receive the Lord?

Oh, I know the Lord would have to find pleasure in answering each one of those prayers, but if He does whatever He pleases, why am I not seeing action? Why wouldn't it please Him to act now? I guess too often for me "seeing is believing", yet that eliminates faith. God is calling me to trust Him in all these circumstances.

Again I remind myself that God's ways ARE NOT my ways. Whether I see Him or not, He is working in my life at this very moment.

Charles Swindoll has said, "God not only moves in unusual ways, He also moves on uneventful days."

I will choose to keep trusting and looking for His hand.

A friend just shared this song with me today. Please, please listen. The lyrics have had a profound effect upon me.

Now and Forevermore

"The Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore." Psalm 121:8 (NIV)

I'll never forget the morning of March 18th, 2008. After a sleepless night, I reached for my Bible and journal, desperately needing to hear from God. Events that transpired over the previous twelve hours had shaken my world and I needed confirmation from the Lord. On my knees, in tears, I begged God to speak to me. Longing to hear, yet uncertain how He would answer, I opened my journal. The verse above was written on the top of the page. My answer had come.

For those of you who don't now this story, God miraculously opened doors for me last year to attend the "She Speaks" conference in North Carolina, but my fear of flying was keeping me from registering. I’m nervous of heights. I don’t understand the scientific reasons or how a huge plane filled with passengers can defy gravity and stay up in the air. I just couldn’t get past my fear of flying. I knew of no-one headed down to the conference with whom I could travel and in my heart of hearts I knew God was calling me to fly and to go alone. Although God had already intervened in ways beyond my wildest dreams, I had to have the assurance of His presence if I was to step one foot on that plane.

He will watch over my coming and going both now and forevermore.

God wasn’t guaranteeing me a smooth trip or even necessarily a safe trip, but He was promising me and reminding me of His presence.

Before I could change my mind I registered for the Conference and I found out later that as soon as I registered, they closed the registration.

I wish I could tell you that for the next 3 months, from March to June when the conference was being held, that I ran with determination, confidence and joy, but the truth was I was on quite the roller coaster ride. Some days I was going to tackle this no problem and other days I would have surrendered my ticket in a heartbeat.

My husband booked my flight on a little 50 seater plane - which didn’t encourage me much. I wanted the security of something large, but you see, again, I was placing my faith in the wrong thing. It wasn’t the size of the plane that would get me to N.C., it was the size of my God.

The morning I was to fly out my husband drove me to the airport, and I must say I was shocked at how quickly he abandoned me. He basically dropped me off, pointed me in the right direction and told me to have a great time as he kissed me goodbye.

After discovering I had to take a bus to a different terminal to find my Gate, I sat in the waiting area calling on God’s Name. In my hands I held 31 pages of typed written verses, prayers, notes of encouragement that friends and family sent me - and I was claiming His promises.

About 30 minutes before my flight was to depart, I happened to look up and I saw a girl walk by - and as I looked again - I knew her!!! I got up and followed her to the next aisle and as she was sitting down I said, “Lorie?”

She looked up and said, "JOY!" We embraced and I questioned her - Are you going to the She Speaks Conference? Yes! Are you flying Air Canada Jazz? Yes! Lorie and I had attended school together back in grades 7 and 8, but in the last 30 years I had probably only seen her about half a dozen times. We quickly reminisced and then the stewardess gave the Boarding Call. As we gathered our belongings, and went to stand in line, Lorie asked me where I was sitting. I grabbed my Boarding Pass and told her I was near the front of the plane. She then told me that she had booked her seat on-line, but when she arrived at the airport just half an hour ago, they had changed her seat. She went on to say she couldn’t understand why this had happened as the flight we were travelling on wasn’t even half full. As she pulled out her Boarding Pass and we took our seats on the plane, guess where she was sitting? RIGHT BESIDE ME!! Just half an hour before take-off God had moved her seat.

Where God guides He provides. If there’s an adventure with your name on it, and you’re hesitant, know that He will not abandon you. He can do immeasurably more than you can ask or imagine. Could He have asked me to travel alone? He most certainly could have, but we have a God of compassion. He saw my fear. He saw my willingness. He saw my mustard see faith. He saw my trust and my obedience IN my fear and He honoured that step of faith.

He continues to watch over my coming and going, both now and forevermore.

Blocking Any Views?

“Oh that my actions would consistently reflect your decrees! Then I will not be ashamed when I compare my life with your commands.” Psalm 119:5-6

I was at the Zoo on Friday and although the park wasn’t overly crowded, there were times when only being 5’2”, my view was blocked by a taller guest in front of me. I could see some, but not all of the attraction. My line of vision was impaired.

Reading these verses this morning, I’m reminded that although I’m small in stature, my life still has the ability to hinder someone’s view of Christ.

M heart joins with the Psalmist’s plea. Oh that my actions would consistently reflect God’s Word. Even more than the personal shame that envelops me when I see my life through His mirror that exposes my heart, is the pain of knowing I may have caused someone else to look away and abandon their search of God.

Far too often I stand there transparent, echoing Paul’s discouragement. "I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing." Romans 7:15, 18-19

The Psalmist goes on to say, “As I learn your righteous regulations, I will thank you by living as I should! I will obey your decrees. Please don’t give up on me!” (vs.7-8)

Lord, please don’t give up on me. I fail. I just hate that something I do or say could blur or block someone else’s vision of You. Amy Grant used to sing a song with lyrics that said, “If a part of me should keep you from seeing, the part of Him that would start you believing…”

Wonder how often my life blocks someone else’s view of God…

Give Me Success

"Please, LORD, please give us success." Psalm 118:25

I heard this concept for the first time just five days ago. Sitting under the teaching of Dave Earley, Chairman of the Department of Pastoral Leadership for Liberty University and Liberty Theological Seminary, he opened my eyes to prayers in the Bible that God is pleased to answer, prayers that could change my life.

Hesitant to pray certain prayers from God's Word because they appear selfish upon initial reading, Dr. Earley was sharing some requests, that when offered with genuine reverence and humility, could help me grow spiritually and take me on quite the adventure. One such prayer was "give me success".

He recounted the story of Abraham's chief servant travelling to a distant land in search of a bride for Isaac. In spite of the fact this looked like Mission Impossible, he offered a simple prayer, "...give me success today...", Genesis 24:12.

To me this prayer sounds tainted with arrogance and brushed with self-importance. Reading it again today in the Psalms I'm still struggling with this idea, but hearing it twice in the space of a week is making me take notice. I do believe if motives are pure and the ultimate desire is to see God glorified and His name honoured, then God is pleased to answer this request. There is no pride or personal prosperity evidenced in the servant's inquiry, but prayer for success in a God-directed assignment.

Are you feeling led to pray for success in an area where God has called you to step out in faith? He will provide where He guides. Trust Him with the outcome of your obedience. God will have His endeavor through you accomplish it's intended purpose.

Please, LORD, please give us success.