Friday, February 12, 2010

Then Yesterday

I've been very unsettled lately. God appears to be taking a sabbatical of silence. There's been a void and nothingness that has awakened my heart in search of more while living in my less.

Around me stories circle of 'burning bushes'. God is speaking, calling and directing others, yet though my ears are attentive for His voice, I'm strangely detached.

No voice.

Silence.

God's silence does not go unnoticed. It's deafening in it's absence, while all the while my heart cries for just a whisper.

Friends share how God is working in their lives, fulfilling dreams, designing opportunities and I rejoice with them while wondering what's wrong with me?

I echo Christ's cry, "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:46 NIV)

Some days, does it not feel like you are living in a soundproof room?

Yet, as each day is met with silence, I'm learning that instead of faith wavering, it's growing. Without answers, trust grows deeper roots. In the face of darkness, God is still there. I don't need His voice to validate His presence. My walk with God is often more like a series of bars of rest in a musical score, than it is a brilliantly orchestrated overture. Silence is the watering for the flower of faith to grow. Not silence on my part, but on God's. I keep talking to God. I keep expecting and anticipating while accepting. God's love for me is not defined by how many times He has spoken to me. His love was defined once and for all on an old wooden cross. Love reaching and touching beyond the power of words.

My faith is not founded on signs, the sensational, spectacular or superficial. It is founded on a Savior.

"Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believe." John 20:29 (NIV)

God's silence does not indicate abandonment or inactivity. The 400 years that span Malachi to Matthew were silent, yet not quiet. "In fact, the silences of Jesus are as eloquent as His words..."

Seasons of silence need to be endured. Walked through. God's silence can actually act like "a pretty accurate barometer of whether we really have faith in God." (A. Gregory)

Sometimes all I hear is the empty echo of my own voice. Though I know He is a fixed variable, at times He seems more irregular than constant.

Then yesterday.

His purpose was explained.
His presence bathed my quiet time in His Word.
His pleasure gave companionship as I walked.
His peace filled my heart as I shared concerns with a friend.
His plan was opened through an invitation.
His promises rebirthed hope.
His power infused me with excitement.
His pursuit took my breath away.
His pulse beat within my heart.

Then yesterday.

Now today.

I walk it with renewed wonder and knowing.

In the silence, God is here.

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15 comments:

Leah @ Point Ministries said...

Ah my friend....I went through a few months of silence in the fall. It was difficult, yet it allowed me time that I needed to focus. Then, when He broke the silence...WOW!! It was so worth it.

Leah

Runner Mom said...

God's ways and ours are so different! So glad that His silence was broken yesterday. I really struggle with times like that. Love the scripture you shared. You're in my prayers, sweet Joy!

Do y'all have craigslist in Canada? If so, check out the cars listed. I prayed like a mad woman about those!!! You'll find something for your son, I'm sure of it!!

happy valentine's day,Joy!!
Love you!
Susan

Kathy S. said...

This is a beautiful expression of longing, hope and faith...thinking of Psalm 63:1,2.

I think of how it makes me feel when one of my kids wants to be in my presence. Delightful. That is God when He remains silent.

I think of a mother with her child starting to walk...backing away in order to draw the child near, and strengthen their legs, confidence, etc. I think that is something like God when He seems silent.

Glad you were refreshed!
Love,
Kathy

Colleen said...

Beautiful. Thanks.

Raylene said...

Thank you for sharing that...I too have been feeling that silence. You always seem to know how to put it on paper what I am thinking but don't know how quite to "say" it. What you have is a gift!! Keep sharing!!!
Raylene

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

Beautiful, Joy, and a place we've all traveled, some of us more frequently than others.

Faith is a walk-through journey. The closer we are to Jesus, the less we need the spectacular. But when the spectacular comes, have mercy... it's almost more than a heart can handle!

Praying for such a gift this week, for us all!

peace~elaine

~Grace and Peace said...

Joy,
I remember hearing at a women's conference once: "The Teacher is silent while the student takes the test." That always stuck with me. But I'm glad He finally made His presence known.

Blessings to you dear friend.

Lori said...

Oh Joy, such a beautiful post from your heart. You made me think about my own teenager's. How many times to I want their attention and they are preoccupied with their cell phones, ipod's, guitar's, & laptops? Sometimes I even have to take their phone out of their hand and say, "focus your eyes on me!" Is that what God is doing to us, His children!

God brought my thougth's back to myself. I have my q.t., praying time, and then how often do I catch myself caught up in serving those around me, and focusing on them, rather than on God?

Our God is a jealous God who wants ALL of us. I'm seeing these quiet times we go through in a different light today, thanks to your post, Joy! God is trying to get our attention. He loves us so much! When there is silence, absence of any sound, noise or distraction, what do we do? aahhh, we return to Him, at such a sweeter level! We cannot bare not being in His presence. It's our longing, our hearts desire! So, during that silent period when we feel like we don't hear His whispers, let us enjoy that stillness! Let us put all of our focus back on Him.

Once, again you've reminded me that God wants all of me. Thank you sweet friend! Love & hugs & prayer's coming your way! Lori

Marilyn in Mississippi said...

I seem to be feeling His silence quite a lot right now, too, Joy.
Today's post was soooooooooooo encouraging!

Love ,
Marilyn...in Mississip

Jane from SC said...

Joy, I remember that feeling when I was trying to make my decision about school. With you help and Wendy's I was led to listen to God and He showed me the way. It is hard to wait when you feel like you are right there waiting but God is not. I am so glad you heard from Him and wasn't the wait worth it all. At the time you did not see it but you do now and look what many of us were shown because of it.

Charlene Kidd said...

Joy I wanted to connect with you about the story from my post yesterday. Feel free to copy and paste it and use it however you need to. It was from an anonymous author.
Let me know how it goes.

lisasmith said...

"Therefore I am now going to allure her;
I will lead her into the desert
and speak tenderly to her. Hosea 2:14

Where I cling in desert times.

love you, Joy!
lisa

Critty said...

That silence can be so hard....yet so worth it.

I was just stopping by to say Congratulations on the top 100!

Camie said...

So beautiful and from the heart! I love God's faithfulness. Blessings to you!

Camie

prashant said...

It was difficult, yet it allowed me time that I needed to focus. Then, when He broke the silence...WOW!! It was so worth it.
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