Reflect or Respond

"Everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or children or lands, for my name's sake, will receive a hundredfold and will inherit eternal life." Matthew 19:29

I read the verse from Matthew for the second time in less than 14 hours, and 7 of those hours I was sleeping!  Ugh...I knew what I had to do.

Recently I was approached about speaking at a ladies weekend retreat.  I've never spoken at an entire weekend event before.  Although it makes me a little nervous, it's also very exciting!  At the moment the coordinator is also considering another speaker, but she had called me making inquiries and we have talked on the phone as well as emailed back and forth.

Last weekend while my son was home for Thanksgiving, he mentioned that sometime in February the Sinfonia, of which he is an orchestra member, will be performing.  As faithful and devoted parents we try to make all the activities when Chris participates.  From pre-school to university we have applauded, cheered, laughed and cried through talent shows, soccer play-offs, piano recitals, band performances, volleyball tournaments etc...  We love supporting his involvement, and win or lose we have been there, short of an unexpected emergency and things beyond our control.

Presented now with this vague date, I wondered what to do.  You see, this isn't just 'another' concert.  At this performance the orchestra will be playing a composition Chris has written.  He is the composer!

Last evening I wrote an email to the lady coordinating the weekend retreat.  I told her should the date of the concert fall on the same weekend as her event in February, I would not be available on the Friday evening.  I thought to myself, surely she will understand.  She has children.  She will be able to empathize with my situation.  Maybe they could plan something else Friday night and I could still speak the remainder of the weekend.  I mean, after all, it's just one session.

Interject God.  *smile*  As I opened a book to read before going to bed last night, there it was - a passage on the cost of discipleship.  Immediately my thoughts turned to the email I had sent.  I read the verse from Matthew again.  Stink...does it really include "children" in that list?  Yes.

As David Platt writes in his book "Radical", discipleship is costly, but nondiscipleship comes at an even greater price.  God doesn't want us only reflecting on His Word, He desires our response.  Am I going to obey?  Saying I'm willing is wonderful, but it needs follow-through.  Turning off the light I prayed the Lord would help me make His choice.

This morning I got up early as I always do to have my quiet time in God's Word, and guess what the very first verse was that I read.  Do I really need to write it out here again?

I'm heading to my email account right now to share with the event coordinator what the Lord has spoken to my heart regarding this retreat and my relinquishment.  I have no idea if I'll be the speaker finally chosen for this event.  I also don't know the exact date of the orchestra performance.  They could involve completely different weekends.  But, this I know, I am learning to surrender all to follow Jesus.

(**Just want to add a side note.  I realize that had the word "children" not been included in that verse, the call to follow would have been no less.  I smile at the Lord allowing His Word to be so specific to this circumstance, but the message is to respond to His call whatever the cost.)