The words above were spoken by a father still grieving for the loss of his son. The sad thing being, they were spoken in the presence of his living sons.
The account of Jacob in scripture is such an incredible retelling of a large family with one favoured son. We are all familiar with Joseph. Storytellers and screenplay writers have often portrayed him as a tiresome teen, full of himself and confident in his position as the preferred child. I honestly don't know if that is fair or accurate, but we certainly see a father who openly acknowledges his love for this son above the others.
At this point in the narrative, because of a severe famine in the land, Joseph's brothers have travelled to Egypt, stood before their brother who "is no longer", and now returned home, leaving Simeon in prison, with an order to bring their youngest brother Benjamin back to Egypt. Upon hearing this directive, the boys father refuses to adhere to any such demands. His response breaks my heart. We can assume that at least nine of his sons are standing right before him, when in reference to the request for Benjamin's presence in Egypt, Jacob says, "My son will not go down with you. His brother Joseph is dead, and he (Benjamin) is all I have left. If anything should happen to him on your journey, you would send this grieving, white-haired man to his grave." With apparently no thought of Simeon or his sons standing before him, Jacob expresses his love for Benjamin.
Jacob has not seen Joseph for over 20 years and has been led to believe he is dead. The loss of Joseph was still daily directing his response to life. He lived to protect himself from any further pain.
Grief can be a dictator. When deep anguish consumes us, it has the power to entomb us, burying our lives in sorrow that fills our days and controls our choices. In doing so, we can become so fixated on the one loss that we lose focus on the abundance still living.
I so vividly remember my mom's final days on earth. She knew my sisters and I, along with our husbands, had planned a winter weekend away to a marriage retreat where Steve and Marijean Green would be ministering. Repeatedly she would encourage us not to allow her deteriorating health to keep us from attending that conference. "Life is for the living", she would encourage us.
Mom took the hand of Jesus just days before the scheduled event. The Lord granted us our desire to all be with her as she left her earthly tent and opened her eyes in heaven. Many may have thought our decision to so quickly head off on a "holiday" was disrespectful, but we saw it as God's divine gift of healing.
If you are going through a season, where like Jacob you are saying, "Everything is going against me!" (Genesis 42:36b), it's just not true. Joseph too had many opportunities to utter the same words as his dad and give in to the pain, but instead he trusted God's purposes. What looks like the end, often isn't. As Joseph said in reference to interpreting Pharaoh's dreams, "It is beyond my power to do this, but God..." (Genesis 41:16). With the Lord's help He can make us "fruitful in this land of my grief" (Genesis 41:52) as we fix our eyes on the living Christ and see the abundance remaining and the gift of all those standing right in front of us.
Please take time to listen to this song: "Lift your head, Morning is coming there's more to the story, Don't forget, In grief and in glory, Still great is His faithfulness." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hHg6Qa5UO-c
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