Tired

"Once again the Philistines were at war with Israel. And when David and his men were in the thick of battle, David became weak and exhausted." 2 Samuel 21:15

Can you relate? Exhaustion in battle. The weariness of fighting the same old enemy over and over again. Will it ever end? You're tired. You want to wave the white flag of surrender and give up. The fighting is fierce. The battle is strong.

For me, the mental and emotional strain is more draining than the physical. My heart can't take the pain. The fire hasn't been friendly and my mind can't find words to respond. There's nothing left to give.

Then, suddenly you are sideswiped by a counter attack. Another, unrelated sqirmish has broken out, and again, your life is the target. Directly or indirectly the cuts pierce deeply.

Why? Why another assault now? The struggle has just about taken your life.

You look up and see your Rescuer. In the unseen, warriors wave swords. One holds an instrument, threatening destruction, the Other life and death. It won't be an easy victory. It might not be a quick victory. But, there will be victory.

Open wounds may appear. Blood may be shed. Scars will remain. When the dust settles and the enemy finally retreats, you will be stronger. Your trust in the One, who for some reason allowed this ambush, will be strengthened.

I don't know how many of you feel like David right now, but I know I do. I'm done. I want to give up and give in. I want to scream, 'nough now'! I've fought valiantly, but I've come to the end. My head falls in my hands. No energy for even tears. I feel defeated.

Yet, the battle rages on. God is not finished. So, I pray for strength as mine is not sufficient to sustain me during this storm. I return to take my place on the front lines.

No Fool

"'You've said enough,' David replied. 'I've decided that you and Ziba will divide your land equally between you.' 'Give him all of it,' Mephibosheth said. 'I am content just to have you safely back again, my lord the king!'" 2 Samuel 19:29-30

Land surrendered for love.

Makes me wonder.

What would cause me to relinquish possession of 'land' for something greater?

Mephibosheth chose wisely. Relationship over resources. Restoration trumped resentment.

Our 'land' could represent numerous belongings that are keeping us from belonging.

Bitterness. Unforgiveness. Pride. Anger. Materialism. Position. Prestige.

Outwardly many appear to have it all. Their 'land' looks lush. Big home. Cottage by the sea. Vacations. Wealth. Appearance. Degrees. Health. Yet, the lawn that looks so lovely to the eye is covering mud, dirt and clay. Beneath the surface, behind the closed door of the heart, lonliness abides. Like Mephibosheth, they too would surrender it all for something they desire more. 'Land' again would be eagerly exchanged for love.

"He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose." Jim Elliot

In this life there are many "I cannot keeps". Besides the obvious, when my life here has ended, I am also going to leave behind feelings, reactions, comparisons, worry, tears, hurt, disappointment and fear. All of these too will perish. Desires and dreams will be abandoned. Strivings will cease. There is something bigger. Someone bigger so worthy of the surrender of all else. He is more than willing to keep that which I've committed unto Him against that day.

I leave you with two questions today.

What 'land' do you need to release, and, what is worthy of such a surrender?

The Mercy Seat

"A messenger soon arrived in Jerusalem to tell David, "All Israel has joined Absalom in a conspiracy against you!" 2 Samuel 15:13

Nanny had sent us outside to play quietly. Mommy wasn't feeling well today. Mommy was always well, so to see her in bed was a new experience for my sister and I. We wanted to make her better. Surely there was something we could do to help with her healing. What do people do for others who are ill? They bring flowers!

Our eyes immediately fell on our Daddy's prized tulips. They were gorgeous. Every colour under the sun was in full bloom. People were always stopping and marvelling over their beauty. They would definitely cheer Mommy and make her better. As quickly as we could we plucked all of the tops off every tulip. Our little arms could barely contain such treasure. We were so excited.

Carefully and quietly we entered the house and crept silently up the stairs. Our faces were beaming as we presented our precious gift to Mommy. She appeared to have a mixed reaction. Her hesitation made us instantly aware that we had done something wrong. Although she appreciated our motive, she was somewhat reserved in her expression of gratitude. Considering the time her husband had devoted to the care of these flowers, her heart was torn by our love for her and the lost delight in the effort of her husband's hand.

When Daddy arrived home from work that day, it only took him minutes to notice that his garden had been burglarized of blossoms. He came immediately to my sister and I and gently asked if either of us knew what had happened to his flowers. He wondered, did we have anything to do with this vandalism? We were quick to point at one another.

I'll never forget what happened next. Daddy asked us if we promised that we wouldn't ever do this again. With deepest sincerity we shook our little heads. We were so sorry. In trying to bring happiness to one parent, we had deeply disappointed another. Daddy told us to dry our tears because he was taking us out for icecream. Icecream? We were sure we were going to be punished for our actions. Daddy explained that he had forgiven us and that because we vowed that we would refrain from ever picking his flowers again without permission, we were going to celebrate. Celebrate forgiveness, restoration and a promise made.

Forgiveness. If only David and Absalom had offered it to one another. For over 10 years bitterness separated father and son.

Too often we offer conditional, partial or delayed forgiveness when the Lord wants us to forgive fully.

I love this quote by Ken Gire, "It has been said that forgiveness is the fragrance the violet sheds on the heel that crushed it. Could there be a fragrance so sweet in all the world as that of Jesus washing the very heel that was poised to crush him?" (referring to Christ washing Judas feet).

Charles Swindoll writes that we can offer forgiveness in tough situations by: 1. Keeping our vertical focus clear. Take any offense to God immediately; 2. Remain aware of our own failure. This requires humility. "The humbled forgiven make good forgivers."

Sadly, we sit on the judgement seat more than the mercy seat.

Unforgiveness stole eleven years of Absalom's life. Praying the Lord will help me to be quick to offer forgiveness.

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. "
~ Lewis B. Smedes

Whatever It Takes

"...he devises ways to bring us back when we have been separated from him." 2 Samuel 14:14

Oh Father, thank You. It doesn't matter what caused us to be alienated from You, You refuse to allow us to remain banished. You devise ways to bring us back to You. You create and invent an idea out of Your love for us...

that family concern

that health challenge

that job loss

that broken relationship

that new friendship

that unanswered prayer

that unexpected circumstance

that financial crisis

that unfulfilled dream

that unplanned move

that surprise letter

that parcel at the door

that meal delivered

that warm hug...

I've been reminded of 2 songs this morning as I've read His Word. One is by Philips, Craig and Dean, "He'll do whatever it takes". The chorus says, "He'll do whatever, whatever it takes, His grace reaches lower than your worst mistakes, And His love will run farther than you can run away, my friend, He'll do whatever, whatever it takes, He'll do whatever it takes. He'll just keep reaching, Until He finds a way to bring you back where you belong, Come on back home."

I'll close with the other sung by Selah, "God Bless the Broken Road".
"Every long lost dream, led me to where You are, Others who broke my heart, they were like northern stars, Pointing me on my way, into Your loving arms, This much I know, know is true, That God blessed the broken road, That led me straight to You."

"It's all part of a grander plan, that is coming true."

Thank You Lord, that Your ways are higher than mine and that You love me too much to leave me alone when I fall away from You. So thankful that You are on a continual search and rescue mission for my heart.

Rooftops

"In the spring of the year, when kings normally go out to war, David sent Joab and the Israelite army to fight the Ammonites...However, David stayed behind in Jerusalem. Late one afternoon, after his midday rest, David got out of bed and was walking on the roof of the palace." 2 Samuel 11:1-2.

Must be nice. David had just had his afternoon nap and now he's out enjoying a stroll. For a king, it sounds like he had a lot of free time. Too much free time. Too much isolation and loniness. No accountability. "All rebellion begins in isolation", David Edwards. Free time can be an enemy and definitely a tool of the evil one.

We don't just encounter sin in despairing seasons. We can fall prey in 'spring' when, like David, we are on top of the world and everything is going fine. A thought becomes a glance, which leads to a word and finally a deed.

David was walking on the roof. Rooftops. Irresistable places of temptation. The wrong place at the wrong time. David ended up in bed when he should have been in battle. Had he been where he belonged there never would have been a Bathsheba incident.

What's your rooftop? Where do you need to avoid wandering? Where is the air a little too tempting, inviting the breeze of surrender to sin? It might feel good and refreshing for a moment, but it's preceeding a deadly storm.

My 'rooftop' is my 'laptop'. Oh, please, don't misunderstand. I'm not viewing any questionable material or using it for evil, but it tempts me to sit for hours writing, reading, sending notes of encouragement, chatting on Facebook, all the while my home, husband and son go neglected. It seduces me not only from responsibilities, but from flesh and blood relationships. I crave the connection and validation I find here. It's satisfying a hunger in my heart, but it's a temporary, false filling.

The other day I entertained the thought, just for a moment, of not reaching for this appendage in the morning, but the pull was too strong. Like a prisoner held captive by drink or drugs, I have a computer addiction. I am dependent on it for acceptance, love, conversation and friendship. The compulsion is such that my excessive use here interferes with daily living. Neglecting the lives of those God has placed around me in order to 'minister' to others. Justifying my time here as my 'calling', I continue giving in to it's enticement, having my desires met outside of God's design. I'm forsaking my first love for substitute satisfactions.

Three times in less than 24 hours the Lord has now repeated this message to me. As you consider your 'rooftop', your place of temptation, please pray for me. I don't know what the answer will be, but I know something must change.

To read my further conversation with God regarding this 'rooftop', click here.

A Tablecloth of Grace

"One day David asked, 'Is anyone in Saul's family still alive - anyone to whom I can show kindness for Jonathan's sake?'" (2 Samuel 9:1).

"David thought, 'I will show kindness to Hanun son of Nahash, just as his father showed kindness to me'" (2 Samuel 10:2).

Kindness: the quality of being warmhearted, considerate, humane and sympathetic; forgiving; charitable; understanding, generous; willing to overlook a mistake; agreeable.

In today's reading we see David go the extra mile to extend kindness to others. He actually goes out of his way and makes a special effort to 'love on' the lost and forgotten.

The original Greek word for 'kindness' used here is 'grace'. Grace is a demonstration of love that is undeserved, unearned and unrepayable.

We see so much of God's grace demonstrated through David's actions. See if you can recognize the Lord's kindness to us as we trace David's heart.

David seeks out the forgotten. He is the one who initiates the connections.

In the example of Mephibosheth David originally asked, "Is there anyone...anyone to whom I can show kindness..?" David didn't ask if there was anyone qualified or anyone worthy. He is offering acceptance based on unconditional love.

Upon hearing that Jonathan's son is a cripple, Mephibosheth's handicap didn't disqualify him from receiving kindness. David doesn't withdraw his request, ask "How badly is he crippled?" or "How did this happen?" No, David's first statement is one of longing for the lost to be found, "Where is he?" Sound familiar?

When Mephibosheth is brought to David, he immediately calls him by name. He longs to know him personally.

David summons Saul's servant Ziba and restores to Mephibosheth all that belonged to him through lineage.

David welcomed Mephibosheth at his table and treated him as a son.

I'm rejoicing today that the Lord came looking for me. That I am not forgotten. That although unworthy, I am accepted with unconditional love. That I was pursued, sought after and found. That God knows me by name. That He desires to have a deep relationship with me. That He is restoring me and returning the years the locust have eaten. That He welcomes me to His banqueting table and calls me His daughter.

I believe it was Charles Swindoll who expressed that the tablecloth of David's grace covered Mephibosheth's lame feet. The tablecloth of God's grace covers and cleanses my sin.

Is it any wonder that David is called a man after God's own heart!

The Blessing of God's 'No'

"Nathan replied to the king, 'Go ahead and do whatever you have in mind, for the LORD is with you.' But that same night the LORD said to Nathan, 'Go and tell my servant David, 'This is what the LORD has declared: Are you the one to build a house for me to live?' 'I will raise up one of your descendants, your own offspring...He is the one who will build a house - a temple - for my name.'" 2 Samuel 7:3-5, 12,13.

It was a good prayer. Certainly the Lord would want to answer it. His Word encourages that ‘iron sharpen iron’. Why, this request would not only strengthen my son's character and walk with the Lord, but also glorify God. Yet, here it was five years later. Still waiting. Still petitioning.

We had joined our present church fellowship when we re-located a few years ago, and having the heart of a mother, I desired that my teenage son make some long-lasting connections. Weekly I would encourage his attendance at Youth Events and Young People activities, but he would go, sit alone and come home quietly.

My son was/is very involved on both the worship team and sound/technical team at our church. Music is his life and he enjoys the fellowship with these other like-minded participants, even though most are more his senior.

I was fervently praying that the Lord would give my son a strong Christian friend. I wanted him to not only have the benefit of a godly buddy, but if that person could also have an interest in music, well that would just be a bonus. I was certain the Lord would provide such a friend within our church fellowship.

Several months ago a dear friend shared with me some concerns she had with compromise, evidenced among the teenagers. Some from this very group of young people I had been praying for my son to connect with, were playing on shaky ground.

The Lord immediately began to speak to my heart, “Sweet Joy, My ‘no’ has not been to frustrate you, but to save you from unnecessary hardships, while keeping your son walking close to Me. I removed him and prevented him from friendships that would have brought temptation he was not strong enough yet to handle. I have protected both him and you from heartache.” Oh, the delayed blessings of a ‘no’.

In today’s reading we see David receive a ‘no’ through Nathan the prophet. David desired to build a dwelling for the Ark. It was a good idea, but it wasn’t God’s idea. We can have the right idea, but at the wrong time. God’s ‘no’s’ are not always rejection, but re-direction.

Oh, and just so you know, in God's perfect timing the Lord has answered my prayer. Three years ago He placed a friend in my son's highschool band. This year their friendship has been growing. This friend loves the Lord sincerely. This friend follows hard after Him. This friend encourages him in his walk with the Lord. This friend prays for him. This friend shares his passion for music. The one thing I didn't envision? This friend is a girl! Now I have another whole new area of prayer.

Two for the Price of One

OK...well, I can't decide which way to go today. Two verses have impacted me with equal importance, so today, for a limited time only, you get two posts for the price of one!

Dancing In the Street

"...I celebrate before the LORD. Yes, and I am willing to look even more foolish than this, even to be humiliated in my own eyes!" 1 Chronicles 16:21-22

We often speak of the freedom of worship we enjoy in our Country. We are not like other countries who are imprisoned for their faith. Yet, a self-imposed prison often shackles me and holds me captive from complete abandoned worship. The urge to express myself is locked by the key of embarassement.

David seemed oblivious to those around him. Gazing eyes didn't stifle his spirit..or God's Spirit in him. He is at complete liberty to celebrate "with all his might" 2 Samuel 6:14. His action is ridiculed, but not restrained.

I struggle so much with throwing caution to the wind and following my heart in worship. I long to 'let go', but being a member of the "People Pleasing Association" (thanks for that Carol), I place too much importance on the reactions of others.

Beth Moore writes, "Hard lessons learned well undoubtedly usher in a fresh respect and a new freedom. As strange as this statement may seem, the more we learn about God, the more freedom we have to worship Him."

Trusting that as I continue this walk through the Bible this year, my love for the Lord will grow to such delight that I will not and can not remain part of the 'frozen chosen'.

May inhibition turn to joyful, uncontrollable expression.

Sweat the Small Stuff

"Because the Levites did not carry the Ark the first time, the anger of the LORD our God burst out against us. We failed to ask God how to move it properly." "Then the Levites carried the Ark of God on their shoulders with its carrying poles, just as the LORD had instructed Moses." 2 Samuel 6:13,15

Just over a year ago now I received an e-mail from a lady at my church asking if I would consider editing a speech that she was preparing to give at an upcoming event with her family. I was blown away by this request. Why did she ask me? I'm not an editor. What did I know about revising anyone's writing? Did I even want the responsibility of looking over her carefully crafted preparation and correcting grammatical errors and sentence structure? What if I happened to offend her by correcting her work? I am far from a genius in the literary field, but I do have a passion for writing and a willingness to be available, so I agreed to at least look over her writing and gently 'tweak' it if necessary.

It's a daunting job playing 'Editor', and I do mean 'playing', as I've had absolutely no training. Meshing together someone else's words without inserting my own opinion or disturbing the authors perspective and personality. It was so tempting to insert my own thoughts and delete sentences based solely on individual preference. By the time I finished, I truly believe I kept her ideas intact. The message remained the same, just packaged with some new expression.

I wonder if I sometimes take on the role of "Editor" when it comes to God's Word. Do I believe that every sentence in the Bible is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, training and correcting? (2 Timothy 3:16) Do I believe that every sentence, every word, every thought in the Bible was inspired by the Holy Spirit? Do I sometimes desire to add or delete certain phrases, words and even complete passages based on my obedience quotient? God's directives that fit neatly into my life with relative ease I'll embrace and follow, but those that require effort, surrender and change I'll omit or re-write to suit my schedule and agenda. After all, God certainly didn't mean we had to follow ALL of His Word did He? It's not really commandments, but simply suggestions....right?

WRONG!! God doesn't want me to change one 'jot' or 'tittle'. I must leave every 'i' dotted and every 't' crossed, for "not even the smallest detail of God's law will disappear until its purpose is achieved." (Matt 5:18). So, although I had freedom to edit this ladies paper, I do not, DO NOT have permission to edit God's Word. I must read it and apply all of it to all of my life.

May I not look to God's Word to make editorial corrections, but instead may I allow the Divine Editor to use it to refine my life and change my character to match my calling.

God cares about the details of our lives. He's concerned about the 'fine print'. If He says to use "carrying poles" then we use "carrying poles". He desires so much that we obey even the smallest truth in our life, that when we hear a new Word we immediately want to know how we can live it out for Him. In other words, we need to sweat the small stuff!

A Moment of Realization

"And David realized that the LORD had confirmed him as king over Israel..." 2 Samuel 5:12

Do you ever wonder why God has placed you in a specific position? Do you ever question a circumstance that He allows, confused by His purpose? Are there times when you don't realize how God is going to use a situation or why it has happened? "All things" working together for good seems like a cruel cliche. Tears flow unchecked, from a heart overcome with feelings of abandonment as eyes ask, "Where are You Lord?" Understanding is limited to what we can see and right now the way isn't clear.

I'm sure David, as a young shepherd boy must have wondered why God had chosen him to be King. Such a high calling on one so young. Destiny determined, not by genealogy, but by God.

In today's reading we see, "David realized that the LORD had confirmed him as king over Israel". David encountered an 'ah ha' moment. The light bulb came on. Suddenly it all began coming together. This was God's plan for his life. All the stones of 'no's' and 'yes's' that scattered his pathway led him to this very moment in time. Pieces began falling into place. The stone that symbolized slaying a giant was just the first of many stepping stones along the way.

Do you ever encounter those moments? Suddenly the last piece of the puzzle is put in place and the picture is complete. With this piece, perceived perplexed perception pales. Light luminates living. It truly wasn't missing. God's Hand has been holding it all along, waiting for the timing of His revelation, all the while building trust in Him. Beth Moore writes, "Sometimes we stand to learn the most about God from the situations we understand the least."

During difficult times we have to hold on to what we do know. We may not know why, but we can know Who. Our adversities are God's universities. He is teaching us to place our confidence in Him.

Even though David's life didn't instantly change at this moment, I believe his heart came to a place of acceptance. Outwardly battles still raged, but a peaceful, blessed assurance filled his soul. He was no longer fighting against God's calling, but breathing deeply in the full knowing that he was in the center of the Lord's will for his life.

Oh to experience that moment of realization in my life today. This IS where God wants me right now...at this time. Father may I know Your confirmation over me.

I wish I could find the following song on You Tube, but my search has been in vain. May the lyrics still minister to your heart.

All Along

Time just drifts away and I look back on the years
With memories of happiness and bitter tears
Through it all there is a common thread that cannot be ignored
You were there, making me Your servant Lord

Chorus:
All along Your hand has been guiding me
Shaping my life to be a beautiful song
All along You've led me through
Things that You knew would make me strong
Your love has been there all along

Every joy and pain had a reason of its own
Now I realize that I was not alone
The changing seasons of my life were not left up to chance
Lord I know You were working to fulfill Your plan

Chorus

Tomorrow when I turn around and look back at today
I will understand Your purpose and my thankful heart will say

All along Your hand has been guiding me
Shaping my life to be a beautiful song
All along You've led me through
Things that You knew would make me strong
Your love has been there all along

(1996 Rebecca J. Peck and Mark Lanier)

***For all of those who comment requesting this sheet music, I wish I could help you.  I only know the song and lyrics from enjoying the CD.  Here is a link to a video now posted: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwaTkqNiNzY   My son (working on his Masters in Music) could play it by ear.  Sorry.  Hope you're able to find it.

Take Over

“Then Abner said to David, ‘Let me go and call an assembly of all Israel to support my lord the king. They will make a covenant with you to make you their king, and you will rule over everything your heart desires.’ So David sent Abner safely on his way.” 2 Samuel 3:21

Standing on the playground I waited for my name to be called. The two baseball teams were choosing players, and as choices narrowed, I feared being the last one standing. On a team by default, not want. Oh how wonderful it would have been to actually be part of the winning team.

Whenever opposition arises a question is posed, “Whose team are you on?” We all want to join forces with success. Abner wanted to take sides with David.

Beth Moore reminds us though, “God never comes to take sides. He comes to take over.” It’s not a hostile siege. It’s a holy surge.

“Take Over”
By Ruth Harms Calkin

At first, Lord, I ask You
To take sides with me.
With David the Psalmist
I circled and underlined;
“The Lord is for me…”
“Maintain my rights, O Lord…”
“Let me stand above my foes…”
But with all my pleading
I lay drenched in darkness
Until in utter confusion I cried,
“No, don’t take sides, Lord,
Just take over.”
And suddenly it was morning.

This surrendering is a daily, moment by moment releasing and resting in the One who can do more than we can ask or imagine.

Looking for my morning.

A Gift of Heart

"David remarked longingly to his men, 'Oh, how I would love some of that good water from the well by the gate in Bethlehem.' So the Three broke through the Philistine lines, drew some water from the well by the gate in Bethlehem, and brought it back to David. But he refused to drink it. Instead, he poured it out as an offering to the Lord." 2 Samuel 23:15-16

Imagine receiving the very thing for which you thirst for the most, but then surrendering it as a gift. Presenting your dearest treasure as a sacrificial offering.

Wendy wrote such an excellent post reflecting on these verses today. Her thoughts concerning David's sacrifice of his fulfilled longing spoke deeply to my heart.

It is my desire to pour out my longings, wishes and preferences in the battle I am facing at the feet of One who sacrificed so much more for me. Have Thine own way Lord, have Thine own way, while I am waiting, yeilded and still.

It reminded me of another precious pouring at the feet of Jesus.

And then another.

God's greatest treasure lavished on me.

Lord, let me be broken, spilled out and used up for Thee.

My Only Strength

"David found strength in the LORD his God." 1 Samuel 30:6

There are times in life when even the dearest of earthly friends cannot offer us the encouragment and support for which our heart longs. They can try and help, but regardless of their efforts, they will fail. It's at those times we need to know how to find strength in the Lord. The kind of strength we need comes only from God.

How do we strengthen ourselves in times of trouble?
1. Commit ourselves to God before the trouble comes.
2. Focus on God - not the problem. Believe it or not, the pain is part of the strengthening process. When we start to realize this, we will see pain in a different way.
3. Cry out to the Lord.
4. Remember His past goodness. Has God ever been good before? :o)
5. Remember His promises.
6. Consider this time in the light of eternity.
7. Seek God's glory.

When God calls us to strengthen ourselves in Him, it is a place we must go with God alone. It's a time when He places us in His intensive care. Most often overwhelming grief has been the cause and we come from a place of brokenness. We wrestle to know God's will in the matter and as the Lord strengthens us, we come to place of acceptance. A time of strengthening matures us and changes us.

I have to admit that over the past seven weeks I have longed for friends to provide for my lack. I don't like the 'entering in' required for this strengthening because it must be done alone. I selfishly want the sympathy and love I can feel and hear easily. However, God's idea of victory comes via a different plan. As Beth Moore says, "What comes out of a battle isn't nearly as important as who comes out of a battle." God desires to work through me and in me. God wants me to know Him deeper.

Lord, I do want to trust You. I want the faith that is credited to me as righteousness. I want to trust unwaveringly in Your promises. I want to be strengthened in my faith and give You glory. You have the power to do what You promise. Father, here's the catch, and it frightens me to write this, but so often I've seen that it's only through severe battles that this depth of knowing You emerges. How I wish living here could be always happy...always pleasant...always easy. Yet, then, I would probably continue to lean on my own strength and I wouldn't see my need for You. Lord, right now, this very second, I need You. I need You to heal, forgive, change, search, restore, revive, fill, demolish, and hold. Lord, open my eyes to all the ways I have been trying to strengthen myself outside of You, and give me courage to release them and turn back to You alone.

And Joy found strength in the LORD her God.

Silence of the Lamb

"He inquired of the LORD, but the LORD did not answer him." 1 Samuel 28:6

Why is it we are so afraid of silences? Sometimes I can be visiting with a new friend and conversation is flowing well...until...suddenly...it happens...that five second awkward pause. No one is speaking.

I've been in Bible study groups where a participant is so uncomfortable with a quiet, reflective moment that they jump in to speak and in so doing, others, who needed more time for thought, now remain silent.

I had to learn the art of solitude and waiting in listening while dating my husband. He is not a communicator. Many silent pauses punctuate conversation with him. Often when our son was younger I would have to caution him to be still and patient as we waited for Daddy's response.

Today I read of the silences of God. Have you experienced them? I certainly have. Times when I'm waiting and longing for God to answer me, yet all of heaven seems quiet. I'm wanting that writing in the sand, on the wall, in the sky, but nothing happens. The deafening scream of silence.

"St. John of the Cross wrote, 'The Father spoke one word from all eternity and he spoke it in silence, and it is in silence that we hear it.' This suggests that silence is God's first language and that all other languages are poor translations."

God's silence does not mean that He doesn't hear. Isaiah 59:2 says, "But your iniquities have separated you from your God; your sins have hidden his face from you, so that he will not hear." It's not that God can't hear, it's that He won't. Sometimes, God in His silence, is waiting for us to confess a sin and re-open the way of communication with Him.

Today are you sitting in God's silence? Even in the quiet know that He is with you and cares deeply. I've heard it said that the Lord can only trust silences with those whom He knows will continue to wait on Him. Silence is a sign of spiritual maturity. I often wish I was a little less mature.

Hearing His Heartbeat

"But then David's conscience began bothering him because he had cut Saul's robe." 1Samuel 24:5

The other morning I was driving my son to school and some words suddenly flew out of my mouth that were far from complimentary. A circumstance and person were the cause of my voicing, but my son's ears were the recipients. Almost as soon as the words escaped my tongue, I felt the pain of my speaking. Promptly I asked for my son's forgiveness and we prayed together as we continued on our drive, asking the Lord to purify my heart, thanking Him for His quick prick to my spirit and pleading with Him to bring my thoughts captive.

This morning I read of David sparing Saul's life, but still cutting the hem of his robe. It seems like such a small, insignificant action. In comparison to what could have been done, it was nothing. We might be quick to minimize David's sin against Saul because of Saul's greater offense against David. We view sin in relative terms. Yet, as The Message rephrases this verse, "Immediately, he felt guilty."

At once David acknowledged what he had done was wrong. He realized that he should not have lifted a hand against the Lord's annointed one, for the Lord himself had chosen Saul as king. David measured sin, not by Saul's wickedness, but by God's holiness. Because of his nearness to God, his discernment of wrongdoing increased and his conviction was met by a change in behavior. David realized that momentary revenge was not worth the cost of separation from God.

In the Marine Corps there is a saying, "You don't salute the man, you salute the rank." God had placed Saul in his position as King, and David was willing to honour Saul because of his respect for God.

Beth Moore writes, "One sure measurement of our proximity to God, whether near or far, is the length of time between conviction and repentance."

Your actions and behavior will genuinely reflect your nearness. How close are you to God?

"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord. On the contrary: 'If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.' Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." Romans 12:18-21

Awaken the Dawn

"I will wake the dawn with my song." Psalm 57:8

The past many mornings, the first thing I hear after our alarm has jolted me awake is the sound of birds welcoming the morning. Their songs cascade through the silence. I enjoy laying in bed, eyes still closed, listening to their praise to their Creator. Even rain doesn't silence their melody. It rises and falls through the storm as they rejoice always.

Oh, to live like these feathered friends. Not fair weather worshippers of God, but singing His praise all day, regardless of feelings and situations. We don't sing because things are good, but because God is good. He cannot change Who He is...He is always good. He cannot be other than who He is, and that is good.

I desire to wake each dawn with my song. Anyone want to sing a duet with me today?

Awaken

Wake up, sleeping soul, the gift of light unfolds
Slowly the night gives way before the dawning day.

Shine in, O morning light, chase back the shades of night.
Fill my heart with a song; silence has reigned too long

I will awaken the dawn, be the first voice of praise with a song till the morning joins in and creation begins to awake to the sound of this song.

High as the heav'ns above so great is the Father's love, love unconditionally rejoicing over me.

I will awaken the dawn, be the first voice of praise with a song till the morning joins in and creation begins to awake to the sound of this song.

Yo quiero cantar confelicidad porque tu renuevas mi ser al amanecer. Alma, despiertaya, huye laoscuridad. Venga ala santa luz de El Senor Jesus.

I will awaken the dawn, be the first voice of praise with a song till the morning joins in and creation begins to awake to the sound of this song. (repeat) to awake to the sound of this song, to awake to the sound of this song.

Words and music by Steve Green and Phil Naish
Copyright 1999 Birdwing Music, Steve Green Music, Meadowgreen Music Co and Davaub Music. Admin. by EMI-CMP.

Jonathan Friends

“'Tell me what I can do to help you,' Jonathan exclaimed." 1 Samuel 20:4

Yesterday I mustered up courage to go back to Tuesday morning Bible Study at my church. Since my Dad’s surgery on March 3rd, I have not returned to my ladies group. I arranged for the weekly teaching to be administered by another, and I withdrew myself from attendance, needing to be on call and available for my mother. Seven weeks ago when I pulled out of all commitments to support my Mom, I felt it was the best decision at that time. None of us anticipated that now, over a month and a half later, we would still be living under the effects of this nightmare.

Withdrawing from Bible Study was just an outward manifestation of a heart that had temporarily removed itself from life. Consumed with anxiety, fear, and stress, depression once again began knocking at my door. How easy to seclude one’s self and exist in the pit of pain. Breathing uncertainty and grave sadness, I was in need of a transfusion of hope.

That’s where some Jonathan friends stepped in yesterday. As I sat in their midst and shared briefly the current condition of my Dad, they inquired as to how they could pray for me and how they could help me. Then, at the urging of one, they quietly stood. Surrounded me. Placed hands on me and I was touched by God Himself. For a few brief moments I was carried before His throne of grace as angel voices petitioned heaven on my behalf. One gals’ tears spoke more than words could ever express. I was loved.

Jonathan friends. Four have been especially faithful on this journey and, like the lame man in the New Testament, these precious stretcher bearers have each taken a corner of my ‘mat’ and carried me, listening endlessly to my cries on days I’ve felt I cannot do life alone. You know who you are, and I thank you for travelling this dirt road with me. The dust on your feet is testimony of your close proximity to this weary walker.

This song ministered to my heart yesterday. I'm trusting the Lord as I wait.

Face Down

"The stone sank in, and Goliath stumbled and fell face down on the ground." 1 Samuel 17:49

Have you ever been hit in the face? I don't mean slapped or punched. I trust that has never happened. But hit by an object accidentally. I still remember Grade Seven gym class. For 'fun' we were going to play 'Murder Ball' with two balls! Think about it for a second. How can anything called, "Murder Ball" be fun???

Anyway, not being athletic in the least, I became the easy target. I had managed to dodge a good number of balls before it happened. I can still see her face. Both balls were in her possession. Her eyes locked mine. She was out for the kill and she nailed it. Her aim was perfect. Both balls made contact with my face and I went down. The impact knocked me backwards and I fell with a thud on the gymnasium floor. I spent the next little while in the school office with ice packs on my face and head trying to keep the swelling down as I waited for my Dad to come and pick me up.

I'm not sharing this for sympathy, but to make a point. You see, when the flying missiles hit my face, the force sent me backwards. It's a simple law of science. An object hit by another will continue travelling in the same direction. However, did you see what God's Word recorded in the telling of Goliath? He fell "face down". He fell forward making it very obvious that the stone had nothing to do with his death, but God alone slayed the giant.

No giant can ever win against a BIG God. We have to continually measure the size of our 'giants' against the size of our God. He is always BIGGER!

Trusting Him as I face my 'giants' today. Placing my tiny stone in a sling to demonstrate my faith, and waiting on God's timing to bring my 'giant' down.

People Pleaser

"I was afraid of the people and did what they demanded." 1 Samuel 15:24

Pleasing people or people pleaser. One is based in love the other is a strategy for love. One is desired, the other devised. One is a beautiful act of kindness, the other a kind of act. Pretending to be and do in an effort to earn the acceptance of another. Feeling undeserved of relationship, plans of perfectionism, manipulation, doing what is right, always being good, never giving offense, not expressing anger, and working hard are put into place in hopes of winning the favour of others. Friendship becomes a competitive sport. Life becomes a continual struggle.

The root of a people pleaser is the fear of loosing love. In an effort to gain approval, being a people pleaser has now become a personality pattern.

Although "peace at any price" might sound good in theory, the cost is a great sacrifice. In order to gain approval we forfeit identity, being open, direct, personal and expressive. Being real is sacrificed for being loved.

I read this quote which expresses it so well: "I need to point out that people pleasers train themselves to get out of touch with their feelings so they can please others. In the process there is a profound loss of identity. I failed to develop my own tastes, speak with my own voice or risk being creative. While I was a people pleaser, I gradually ruined my ability to think clearly for myself; my judgment became impaired; I became a slow and plodding decision-maker. In part this is because, as a people pleaser, I was committed to conflict avoidance. In order to avoid conflict my subconscious mind automatically screened and suppressed all information that might be controversial or lead to conflict."

A soul is lost to satisfy others. "In the shadowy unconscious of the people pleaser is deep doubt about self worth and lovability. Deep in the heart of the people pleaser are fearful thoughts such as: I have done something wrong, I am bad, no one can love me."

My mind races to the movie, "Runaway Bride". Have you seen it? There's a scene depicted during the engagement luau where "Maggie Carpenter", played by Julia Roberts, comes face to face with the truth when confronted by "Ike", played by Richard Gere. In profound simplicity, he accuses her of not even knowing what kind of eggs she enjoys. A silly line, bypassed by many viewing the film I'm sure, yet for me it was a moment of truth. Trying to be all things to all people, I had adapted this life-style. Who was I and what did I enjoy? It was a moment of crisis yet awakening.

A search to find Joy began and continues to this day. No longer does the 'fear of the people' hold me captive. It may still steal seconds, but it does not demand my destiny.

Finally I'm learning to accept the Lord's unconditional love and the opinion of others, although still valuable, no longer validates my life.

""I have loved you with an everlasting love". Jer. 31:3

I Felt Compelled

"I felt compelled..." 1 Samuel 13:12

Saul felt compelled to disobedience. He did not keep the Lord's command. His feelings betrayed him and led him astray. He walked a road of sin and consequences followed.

Do your feelings ever deceive you? I know mine do. An impression, although strong, can be wrong. My senses make wrong decisions, caught up in the emotion of a moment.

Yet, they can also compel me for good.
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"For Christ's love compels us..." 2 Corinthians 5:14.

How I desire Christ to be the driving force behind every action, thought, word, and deed. I long for His urgency to flow through my very being, necessitating each breath I take so that my waking hours are all spent in faithful following.

It was Christ's love for us that compelled Him to the cross. A force beyond our understanding held His body there. It wasn't the nails. He felt compelled by a love so great that it is beyond human comprehension.

Today we celebrate our Risen Lord. The tomb stands empty. Death could not conquer such compelling.

Rejoicing today, and every day, because He Lives!

Olly-Olly-Oxen-Free

"And the LORD replied, 'He is hiding among the baggage.'" 1 Samuel 10: 22

When Saul was chosen as King, he was nowhere to be found. He was hiding.

How long since you've played, "Hide and Seek"? Your initial response might be 30 years or more. A neighbourhood game often used to start in the early evening during the summer months of my childhood. Little voices whispering. Feet scampering to find the perfect hiding place. Barely breathing, wanting to go undetected. Then, the squeals at being found.

Grown-ups don't play hide and seek. At least, not for fun.

Were you good at hiding? Could you be easily found or did others finally give up the search?

How are you doing at hiding now? What 'baggage' have you surrounded yourself with to create a barricade of protection? We bear suffering in silence because we want to spare others the pain. We think we're being brave. But we hide too well.

Baggage comes in a variety of shapes, colours and sizes. Shame. Fear. Insecurity. Pride. Appearances. People pleasing. Words.

If only we'd realize that getting found keeps you in the game. Robert Fulghum, in his book, "Everything I needed to know I learned in Kindergarten", speaks of the adult version of this childhood game. "Wanting to hide. Needing to be sought. Confused about being found. 'I don't want anyone to know' 'What will people think?' 'I don't want to bother anyone.'"

Nobody truly wants to be left alone. Regardless of what their actions are saying, deep down they want to be found - but maybe they're afraid that no-one will care enough to keep looking. The ache and lonliness of never being found.

Where and what are you hiding today? The Lord is calling, "olly-olly-oxen-free, come out, come out wherever you are." Hiding takes so much energy. It takes work and effort to keep from being found. Some of us are working pretty hard at something that is hardly working. God's Word says that He came to SEEK and to save the lost, Luke 19:10. He's all about finding. A lost sheep. A lost coin. A prodigal daughter.

We cannot hide from God. We might be experts at concealing truth from others, but Hebrews 4:13 says, "Nothing in all creation is hidden from God's sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of Him to whom we must give account."

Will you do me a favour today? If you're hidding among the baggage like Saul, will you ask the Lord for courage to be found? I'm not saying it's easy. Maybe years have stolen so much of life that hiding has become all you know and the fear of exposure is so great. "But, the day came, when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to Blossom" (Anais Nin). The heart can no longer be held captive by the mind. Hiding no longer is an option. The pain of remaining closed is greater. In spite of all that could potentially happen, you see and are seen and you become infinitely more alive and beautiful.

Anais Nin also wrote, "A persons life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage." I don't know about you, but usually one makes themselves very small in the process of hiding. It's time to live BIG.

Today's the beginning of a new game. So, to all of you who have hid too well, get found. Olly-olly-oxen-free!

Thus Far

"Samuel then took a large stone and placed it between the towns of Mizpah and Jeshanah. He named it Ebenezer (which means 'the stone of help'), for he said, 'Up to this point the LORD has helped us!'". 1 Samuel 7:12

Ebenezers. Tangible objects. Reminders of God's help and faithfulness. God's presence. A scared moment recalled. God's mercies are everlasting and His covenant is forever. A battle has been fought and a victory has been won. A monumental stone is erected.

I like the way the New International Version expresses it...'Thus far has the Lord helped us." Thus far. Up until this exact second.

In the treasured hymn, "Come Thou Fount of Every blessing", we sing, "Here I raise my Ebenezer, Hither by Thy help I've come". Here...in this place...at this time...in this circumstance...surrounded by pain...I raise my Ebenezer. I remember God's past blessing of help and it strengthens me for this trial and the next. God who is the same yesterday, today and forever cannot change. He still creates moments for Ebenezers.

As I think on this stone of victory, today my mind wanders to another stone. A stone that could not contain my Savior. A rock secured in front of a tomb. A burial place. A life enclosed...dead.

It is possible that life can offer such a burial chamber. Though alive, you need grave clothes removed and a stone lifted. Christ's stone was guarded, and maybe your's is too. Guarded by shame, insecurity, fear, hopelessness, disappointment, pain etc... You feel all that is left are remains, but God sees resurrection. He can raise your life from a living dead. He can deliver you. No longer will you be held in bondage and captive to Satan. Chains that bind you in health, finances, relationship, marriage, unemployment, worry, disappointment, fear can be removed. Our God still moves stones. Hallelujah!!

Thus far the Lord has helped us. My stone will move. Your stone will move. Darkness will depart. The Son is coming.

Dedicated

I remember the Sunday my husband and I dedicated our son to the Lord. Although we had aleady dedicated him to the Lord the day he was born, this was opportunity to publically present Him to the Lord and vow to do all we could to raise him to follow Jesus.

He looked so precious. We held our dearest little treasure. My sister wrote and sang a song of dedication. We surrendered his life for God's purposes and plans.

As I read of Hannah dedicating Samuel to the Lord today in 1 Samuel 1, my mind revisited that morning. That one time act has followed with daily action. It is a continual surrender, release and dedication. As he has grown, more needs to be relinquished and further trust needs to be put in God's hands. I have to keep giving him up entirely that he may be consecrated for the Lord's service and purposes. Father, may he remain steadfast, committed to You and devoted to Your heart and never, never turn away.

Christopher's Song, written by Japhia Scott

Christopher Robertson dear little lamb
God gave you to us what a gift from His hand.
With a touch of a whisper He made babies skin
And two tiny eyes He put starlight in.

Your mother and father in hope they endured
The strength of their love as you entered this world
A wonderful treasure more precious than gold
A lifetime of dreaming in our arms we hold

For strength and for wisdom, for grace from above
Please guide us and help us to show him Your love
That early in his live his heart is your home
With his hand in Yours he is never alone.

God brought to the sunshine a rainbow of joy
All wrapped in the treasure of your baby boy
Our hearts overflow as we commit him to Thee
Welcome dear Christopher to our family

Barrenness

"...the LORD had given her no children." 1 Samuel 1:5

Hannah was barren. Unable to bear children. She was fruitless. Yielding nothing of value.

I have experienced times of barrenness. Times when nothing comes to birth in my activities, service or relationships. Life seems worthless, bleak and desolate. An uninhabited wilderness with no opportunity for cultivation or growth.

A dream isn't realized.

Hope is deferred, detained and denied.

Devastated, abandoned and lifeless, a great sadness envelops the soul with a feeling of being forsaken.

Alone.

Ineffective.

Yet, God, and only God, can breathe life into anything at any time.

He is both Giver and Sustainer. (Hebrews 1:3)

He can take my heart and my life, crushed by grief, deprived of use, deserted, devoid, dismal and dreary and provide the oxygen needed to breathe again.

Breathless and barren, I wait for Him.

"As it happened..."

"As it happened..." Ruth 2:3

God's timing. I don't always understand. Things have happened that wouldn't be my choice, but for some reason they are God's choice for me.



Joy Williams - Better Than I lyrics

I thought I did what's right
I thought I had the answer
I thought I chose the surest road
But that road brought me here

So I put up a fight
And told You how to help me
And just when I had given up
The truth has come clear

Chorus

For You know better than I
You know the way
I've let go, the need to know why
Cause You know better than I

If this has been a test
I cannot see the reason
But maybe knowin', I don't know
Is part of getting through
I try to do what's best
And faith has made it easy
To see the best thing I can do
Is put my faith in You

Chorus

I saw one cloud and thought it was the sky
I saw a bird and thought that I could follow
But it was You who taught them how to fly
If I let You reach me, will You teach me

For You know better than I
You know the way
I've let go, the need to know why
I'll take what answers You supply
Cause You know better than I

Why Has This Happened?

"Now the people...sat in the presence of God until evening, weeping loudly and bitterly. 'O LORD, God of Israel,' they cried out, 'why has this happened...'?" Judges 21:2-3

My voice mingles with those of the Israelites. My question echoes theirs.

Trusting though not understanding, I face another day.

Remember Me

"Sovereign LORD, remember me again. O God, please strengthen me just one more time." Judges 16:28

This seems to be the cry of my heart every morning. I awake to a new day, yet I know I face the same heartache as the one before. I will leave shortly before 11am to spend my day at the hospital with my Dad. It's not that I don't want to be there. I do. I don't want to miss one moment of opportunity. I climb the stairs to the 7th floor with hope and anticipation each morning. Possibly. Just maybe. A miracle could happen, couldn't it? Within moments of my arrival that hope fades and I must embrace the reality of what is.

Thank you to all who prayed for our family meeting yesterday. As we prayed and sought God's will, He gave us undivided hearts. His presence surrounded us and I believe we have made some progress as to where we go from here. Many questions still are unanswered, but we are stepping forward and trusting God to continue to guide us.

In the same passage from Judges above, the following chapter said, "...the tribe of Dan was trying to find a place where they could settle..." As I've mentioned before, my Dad was referred to as "Dan" at his place of employment for 50 years. Although not his given name, it was the name his co-workers always used. Our greatest concern right now is finding a place where Dad can 'settle'. A place that will offer as much care and love as we long to give him. A place nearby so that we can continue seeing him daily. We are a close family and any degree of separation will do greater harm than good.

A few verses later in this same chapter I read, "For the LORD is watching over your journey." Oh Father, thank You. In Your infinite wisdom and sovereign love, please continue to guide and direct us. Help us trust Your Hand and know that You are providing for all our family.

And now, Lord, for that fresh strength I pray. Remember me today...just for today.

Unseen Opportunities, God Unlimited

"...didn't realize the LORD was at work in this, creating an opportunity..." Judges 14:4

Sometimes we can't see God's Hand. We are so caught up in the now that we are missing God's possibilities. Our limited understanding has placed boundaries around what we can see, and we have forgotten that our God is limitless. God is not confined by the parameters of our thoughts or restricted by the properties that govern our actions. He is infinite. He has incalculable riches, countless hours, an unlimited number of reasons, innumerable options, multitudinous alternatives, a myriad of potential and untold love.

Today my family is coming together around 3:30pm (Eastern time) to pray and seek God's will for decisions that need to be made regarding the care of my Dad. Although the situation looks bleak at best, and often times we are not realizing God's Hand at work in this, we trust that He is creating an opportunity for His Name to be great and glorified through our lives and the life of our precious Daddy.

Would appreciate your prayers today. May the scales from our minds be removed as we seek His direction and trust in the provision He will bring.

Accused, Used and Abused

When I was in High School, there was a girl who lived at the corner of my street whom my twin sister and I would 'call on' every day as we passed her house. We walked to school together for years, yet it was always the same. As soon as we reached the corner of the school property she would say, 'Bye twins' and hurry away. I guess you'd have to say that my sister and I were 'nerds' back in those days, and although she seemed to enjoy our company over the mile that we walked daily, she did not want to be seen with us by her peers.

At lunch time my Dad would pick us up every day and take us home. Again this "friend" would suddenly appear and hurry to our car, hoping not to be seen with us in the school parking lot, but appreciating the free ride home, both at lunch and at the end of each school day. Basically we were being 'used' because of the transportation we provided, especially on those cold, snowy, wintery days. Not acknowledged in the halls of the school and teased and ridiculed by this same girl when she was with her 'real friends', my sister and I know the hurt and pain of being taken advantage of and exploited. We were often accused, daily used and our relationship abused.

The story that spoke the most to me today was in Judges 11. Jephthat, being the son of a prostitute, was chased off the land by his half brothers. Yet, because he was a mighty warrior, in their time of need, when being attacked by the Ammonites, they suddenly desire his friendship and his fighting prowess.

Jephthat asks, "Why do you come to me now when you're in trouble?" vs.7. They reply in verse 8, "Because we need you."

Being used. Maybe you've been the 'used' or the 'usee' :o) Neither is good. But, then I was wondering.

Am I sometimes like that in my relationship with the Lord? Do I sometimes go days without even acknowledging His presence in my life? Is He walking along right beside me and I'm not even speaking one word to Him? Are there times when I'm out with my peers, and I'm ashamed or too embarassed to mention His name? Do I not stop and admit to knowing Him in the 'halls' of life? Then, I'm being "attacked" and suddenly I'm calling for His help and He's hurting, wondering, "Why do you come to Me now when you're in trouble?" And I answer the same way, "Because I need You."

Lord, I can do NOTHING on my own. I need Thee every hour...EVERY hour, minute, second.... Father, help me not to forget or cast You aside and think I can ever stand on my own. In bad times and good times I desperately need Your presence in my life. May my own self-confidence and pride never blind my eyes to my need for You. You are my love, my life, my all. Give me courage to boldly proclaim that I am not only Your friend, but Your child. Thank You that even when time goes by and my actions speak that I have forgotten You, You never have me out of Your line of vision. I am the apple of Your eye, precious and honoured in Your sight.

Needing You always.

Dawn

"It was just after midnight..." Judges 7:19

Midnight. A time when one day ends and a new day begins. The date changes. Dawn arrives. We welcome the morning. Darkness fades.

Wendy reminded me this morning that victory sometimes comes in our darkest hour.

Looking for that new horizon.

Question

"...if the LORD is with us, why has all this happened to us?" Judges 6:13

No answer.