Thursday, April 30, 2009

Tired

"Once again the Philistines were at war with Israel. And when David and his men were in the thick of battle, David became weak and exhausted." 2 Samuel 21:15

Can you relate? Exhaustion in battle. The weariness of fighting the same old enemy over and over again. Will it ever end? You're tired. You want to wave the white flag of surrender and give up. The fighting is fierce. The battle is strong.

For me, the mental and emotional strain is more draining than the physical. My heart can't take the pain. The fire hasn't been friendly and my mind can't find words to respond. There's nothing left to give.

Then, suddenly you are sideswiped by a counter attack. Another, unrelated sqirmish has broken out, and again, your life is the target. Directly or indirectly the cuts pierce deeply.

Why? Why another assault now? The struggle has just about taken your life.

You look up and see your Rescuer. In the unseen, warriors wave swords. One holds an instrument, threatening destruction, the Other life and death. It won't be an easy victory. It might not be a quick victory. But, there will be victory.

Open wounds may appear. Blood may be shed. Scars will remain. When the dust settles and the enemy finally retreats, you will be stronger. Your trust in the One, who for some reason allowed this ambush, will be strengthened.

I don't know how many of you feel like David right now, but I know I do. I'm done. I want to give up and give in. I want to scream, 'nough now'! I've fought valiantly, but I've come to the end. My head falls in my hands. No energy for even tears. I feel defeated.

Yet, the battle rages on. God is not finished. So, I pray for strength as mine is not sufficient to sustain me during this storm. I return to take my place on the front lines.



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2 comments:

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

Well, this just sounds awful, Joy. I'm so sorry friend. I wish I were there to cradle your pain more fully. Please know that while I'm a bit late in getting here today (it's practically tomorrow), I'm praying.

Don't give up;let our Father and my prayers carry you this day.

peace~elaine

lisasmith said...

I highlighted this verse too, Joy. I pray He carries you on eagles' wings, friend. Praying renewed strength and sweet rest for your soul.