I must admit...last night I felt I was sitting in the middle of such a season. Dry from no refreshing rain. "Grasshoppers" had devoured growth. A "plague" had infected my heart. A season of drought, devestation and despair. A parched soul from excessive exposure to the heat of hardship. Life was ebbing and hope was difficult to find. And this is God's doing?
"At times I might..." Why does He allow and plan these desert times? Is it to magnify thirst and deepen desire? Is it to develop appreciation for living and recognition that everything good comes from God? Unfortunately, too often they hold me in their grasp, stilling my travel. Footsteps that should move on, give in to the cold climate as I curl up allowing and welcoming atrophy.
At times He will "shut up", "command" and "send" for the purpose of getting our attention and refocusing our heart. Expectation of what we want has trumped appreciation for what's been given. As a friend reminded me this morning I need "willing eyes" to see.
Sometimes the travel from a winter's heart is a choice. Yes the land is dry. Yes the grasshoppers have devoured. Yes the plagues have come. But as my friend Elaine reminded me this morning, God's good is not diminished because of my difficult.
"When pain, hardship, heartache and questions are our requirement, it's difficult to reason the good of God." "Regardless of the mitigating factors that collect and gather to beg my thoughts in another direction, God is after my acknowledging him for his goodness." Elaine Olsen
Although restlessness marked my slumber, this morning I've been given new vision through truths written by the hand of a friend. Too often I allow my life to be robbed by feelings. I surrender to emotions and set up camp in sensitivity, looking for sympathy in my survivng. All such actions scream of insecurity. Life is too short to continue dwelling in dark nights of the soul.
Saddness accompanies my journey right now, that can't be denied. Yet, this morning my eyes continued reading the hope in the next verse of the above passage.
"Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land."
The "at times" are not the end. There comes a "then". The subsequently of our now. The turning of a heart.
Father, my heart needs to turn. It has been referenced in grief and needs to be refocused in good. In this desert may I see Your promise.
A silent, sad voice is going to sing a summer's song. Thanks for the invitation Elaine.
2 comments:
I will add my voice to yours this day; even though miles (lots of them) separate us, I carry your heart in mine as I travel to the house of worship to fix my eyes on the unseen majesty of a deeply felt God.
He is good. Good is who he IS.
peace, friend~elaien
Dear Joy, I love the wisdom you get our of God's Word. I'm continuing to lift your family up in prayer. I know without a doubt, that our God hears us. We wait patiently on Him as we seek His guidance.
Prayers coming your way! Lori - AZ
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