There are all types of laughter. Belly laugh. Chuckle. Giggle. Side-splitting. Nervous. A few days ago I wrote about a wonderful afternoon of laughter. It was real, sincere and healing. Yet, laughter can so easily be a tool of protection providing a mask, to blanket feelings. It's colourful and amusing, but it also provides a hiding place. Behind the joyful sound of delight is a heart of despair. The music of laughter conceals the misery of a mournful song silenced, and when it's melody is over, grief remains.
Lately the song being orchestrated across my life is one that plays itself out after the laughter is gone. When words can't be found and all the tears have been cried, music expresses the language of my heart. Feelings that can't be shared with anyone else flow and dampen the ivories as pain finds expression. Anger, frustration, confusion and heartache are unlocked. Unspoken words find an avenue of speech. My soul is exposed. Truth is uncovered. The smile is a facade.
Fearing my pain will be discovered, not by you, but me, laughter is helping me live above my now. It's my weapon of defense, shielding my mind from reality, preventing my emotions from dictating my living and sheltering my heart from the sneers of the evil one.
If I truly let my mind hold the accuracy of my current, depression would control. Laughter is but a momentary liberation. It provides a break in the monotony. I'm so thankful to those who find a way inside. They have a gift. Even if the laughter isn't lasting, it's relief and release brings healing.
Yes, grief remains, but for a few minutes I've forgotten it's pain.
2 comments:
Thank you for visiting my everyday blog, it was so nice for you to take the time to post, and you encouraged me! I do believe in happily ever afters, I should have been more specific to what I was referring to, however I am like you and have a few blogs. I really am looking to connect with other Christian women such as yourself, and have only been following Christ for about 7 months now, and I am sorting through all my learning and thoughts and while I am not well at always expressing myself, I hope to improve and also express my love for God and what He is doing in my life. I do hope you will offer encouraging words during my walk with God on my other blog.
Thank you and God bless you.
Tammy
Joy,
Wow, are we walking on a similar path or what??? To save time we could just take turns blogging and post them on both of our blogs! "Signed Mislead and Numb, Joy and Melissa"
Does it help for me to say "hang in there" one more time? But whatelse is there to do or say. So again I say it, "Hang in there"...meaning hold on tight, not to your own ways or strength but to the Lord's. The great thing about hanging on to Him is that even if you have to let you, He won't let you go!!!
I love you and I'm praying for you, your mom, your dad, and everyone else involved!
Love,
Melissa
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