A Broken Heart

"One of the soldiers, however, pierced his side with a spear, and immediately blood and water flowed out." John 19:34

Carrying His cross, Christ arrived at Golgotha. “King of the Jews” read the sign. King of the Jews? Oh no Lord, You are so much more. King of everything. King of all my thoughts and every desire. “King of my life I crown Thee now.”

Yet, You were royally mocked by priests, teachers, elders and criminals. Still You implored forgiveness for Your accusers. “Father, forgive them…” Words that must have pierced the soldiers just as forcefully as the nails they used to pierce You. Not only did You forgive, but You spoke a word in their defence, saying, “they don’t know what they are doing.”

A scoffing criminal taunts, “So you’re the Messiah, are you? Prove it by saving yourself - and us, too, while you’re at it!” Oh, if only You could. It was impossible to do both. You could save Yourself or us. Both was not an option. In selflessness You chose us and courageously remained on the cross. A cross that required abandonment as Your Father turned His face away. You were abandoned so that I would never have to experience such deep separation.

As a final act of scriptures fulfillment, one of the soldiers thrust a spear through Your side and immediately blood and water flowed out. Blood was expected. The flow of water was surprising. Some explain the water came from the rupture of the pericardium, a sac around the heart. It was not the crucifixion that claimed Your life. It was love. You died of a broken heart.

I know that was not the last time Your heart broke. Today, right this moment, is it breaking again? Wounded by those who still mock, reject, accuse and refuse. Father, forgive me for all the times I have been the one to break Your heart. Forgive me Lord. I have no excuse. I know what I am doing.