"Then Balaam confessed to the angel of the LORD, 'I have sinned. I didn't realize You were standing in the road to block my way. I will return home if You are against my going.'" Numbers 22:34
The majority of situations can be interpreted two ways. Differentiating can be difficult. Although a possible tool, we can't judge God's will simply by circumstances. Often, we can assume an open door means 'go' and a closed door means 'stop'. It really depends on whose hand is holding the handle on the other side. Access can be the enemy making his path appear easy and seducing us to pursue, or God's "yes" to our obedient following. Denial can be our adversary acting in anger because he is hostile to the steps of faith we are taking and the harvest for God's Kingdom that will come, or God's "no" to a path we're walking without His blessing.
How do we determine, when conflict arises, who is initiating the pause? Is it God testing my resolve or Satan tempting me to relinquish the mission? Do I keep pressing on in faith or is God saying enough is enough? It can be a real, honest struggle. Even for those who have been walking with the Lord for many years, we need divine wisdom to discern the steps ahead. If it's Satan at the helm, we armour up to conquer. If it's the Lord's method of guidance, we want the grace to surrender.
Balaam is an interesting case study. At face value he appears to be walking in obedience to the Lord, yet the fact that he entertained the idea that God would change His mind, asking Him a second time for His direction when He had already clearly spoken and revealed His will, gives evidence that Balaam was looking for a way around God's instructions, desiring instead to do his own will. God does eventually relinquish to the wicked prophet's wishes adding one condition: Balaam can only do what God tells him to do.
Just because God complied, He didn't condone. As Balaam was travelling back to Moab multiple times the angel of the LORD stood in his way. He didn't recognize the re-direction as God's resistance. Why? Because in his heart he wanted his own way. Although his words spoke faithfulness his actions spoke selfishness.
What helps me walk out this confusion of resistance being God or Satan is to recognize God's ultimate sovereignty. Even when a trial is from Satan, it has first sifted through the hands of God. Every trial is ultimately under God's wise and loving control. Maybe our indecision becomes the enemy's greatest weapon. If he can just slow us down, muddle our thoughts and incite hesitation. Instead, focusing on God, spending time in prayer, and understanding that the Lord can use everything to grow our faith should usher in trust and peace.
Some obstacles indicate something is over, others are to be overcome. Whether its Satan's injection or God's protection, remember that the Lord is standing with you in the struggle and if our hearts are honestly longing to follow Him, He will safely bring us home.
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