"Really Lord? Seriously, this had to happen too? Am I not already going through enough? Does this have to be added to the already lengthy list of things I'm trying so hard to navigate and surrender to You? Truthfully, I feel the weight overwhelming me with constant stress. Really Lord?"
Have you been there? Do you ever think if one more thing happens it will be the tipping point? Emotionally, mentally, physically and possibly even spiritually, you've reached a critical point. If there is even the slightest hint of unwelcomed news, or one more crisis, one more challenging report, one more care or concern, it will threaten your ability to keep going. And then it happens. The phone call. The email. The meeting. The medical scare. The added worry. It's that straw. You know the one. It's the last occurrence in a series of unfortunate events, and although it may be small, the weight of its addition threatens collapse. Coming out of left field, it hits hard when you're already carrying what can seem like the weight of the world.
The enemy knows precisely when to time his attacks. Although there is nothing in scripture to indicate that he is omniscient, he is a master of observation. He watches our human behaviour, and like the Amalekites who had no fear of God and came after the Israelites when they were vulnerable, Satan knows when to strike. As the expression goes, he finds delight in kicking someone when they are already down.
This is a desperate place to be. Fatigue makes you fragile. You're at a breaking point. Anxiety claims slumber. Thoughts magnify doubts. You don't want to hear one more "trust God" or "don't be afraid" because your mind knows these words so well you could say them in your sleep....if you were sleeping.
You long to be a testimony of God's provision and strength. You might even be looking brave while running scared. You want those around you to see God through your response to the trials you're facing, but in reality you're on the verge of shattering. Everything collides at once, inciting a collapse. You armour up as more arrows fly. As each missile makes contact with your shield your feel it's impact, wishing the fight didn't always have to be so hard. If only victory could come easily, without the often accompanying wounding and suffocating panic.
There are times when in all honesty, we have every reason to be bankrupt in well-being. So, what do we do when consumed with "enemies" attacking us while we are suffering and straggling behind? Do we keep trying to fight from a place of depletion? No. We fall. We fall into the arms of the One who promises to carry us through. His yoke is easy and His burden is light. Any who have made that great exchange know it to be true. Yes, God does allow our lives at times to be touched by more than we can handle because He desires to reveal more of His strength, love, goodness, mercy and grace to us.
Today if you feel forsaken, frail and forgotten, know that there are other fellow travellers who have sat in the rubble on that road. Christ Himself is familiar with paths of pain, but just as He rose victorious, He is with you and will take your hand, raising you from the ashes. Feel His arms around you. Rest in Him. He will hold you tight amidst the turmoil until the turnaround. Maybe not a reversal of happenings, but a revival of heart.
No comments:
Post a Comment