Accused, Used and Abused

"But Jephthah said to them, 'Aren't you the ones who hated me and drove me from my father's house? Why do you come to me now when you're in trouble?' 'Because we need you,' the elders replied..." Judges 11:7-8a

When I was in High School, there was a girl who lived down the street whom my twin sister Japhia and I would 'call on' every day as we passed her house. We walked to school together for years, yet it was always the same. As soon as we reached the corner of the school property she would say, "Bye twins" and hurry away. I guess you'd have to say that my sister and I were 'nerds' or 'geeks' in those days (although I'm doubtful that has changed over the years), and although she seemed to enjoy our company over the mile that we walked daily, she did not want her peers to see her with us.

At noon hour each day my dad would come and drive us home during his lunch break. Again this "friend" would suddenly appear and hurry to our car, hoping no-one saw her with us in the school parking lot, yet still appreciating the free ride home. Basically, we were being "used" because of the transportation we provided, especially on extremely cold or rainy days. Not acknowledged in the halls of the school, but teased and ridiculed by this same gal when she was with her other friends, my sister and I experienced the hurt and pain of being taken advantage of, often accused, daily used and our relationship abused.

In Judges 11, Jephthat, being a son of a prostitute, was chased off the land by his half-brothers. Yet, because he was a mighty warrior, in their time of need, when being attacked by the Ammonites, they suddenly desire his friendship and his fighting prowess.

Jephthat asks, "Why do you come to me now when you're in trouble?" They reply, "Because we need you."

It's hard when friendships are based on need and not want. When someone comes to you because you have something that will fulfill their desire without any intention of anything more. They aren't really interested in developing a relationship, but they see you as a means to an end. Maybe you've experienced being either 'used' or even the 'use-ee'. Neither is good. But, it gets me wondering.

Do I sometimes treat the Lord similarly? Do I ever go days without acknowledging His presence in my life? As He is walking beside me, do I ever ignore His nearness or run quickly away when something momentarily appears more enticing? Are there times when I hurry from Him or neglect to mention His name, being ashamed or embarrassed? Do I live my life with God-forgetfulness until I'm suddenly in a crisis? Calling out to Him from a place of need, does He ever question, "Why do you come to Me now when you're in trouble?" I answer the same way as the elders, "Because I need You."

Lord, I can do nothing on my own. I need You every hour...EVERY hour, minute, second... Father, help me not to cast You aside or think I can make it on my own. In bad times and good times, I desperately need Your presence in my life. May my own self-confidence and pride never blind my eyes to my need for You. You are my love, my life, my all. Give me courage to boldly proclaim that I am not only Your friend, but Your child. Thank You that even when my actions speak of neglect, You always keep me in Your view. You never refuse my advances towards You even if time has lapsed. Waiting patiently for my return, You welcome me back and love me unconditionally. I am the apple of Your eye, precious and honoured in Your sight.

Needing You always.