Exile / Two Songs

Two scripture passages spoke deeply to my heart today. After debating which to write about, I settled on both. May the Lord use them to minister to you today.

“…returned from exile.” Ezra 2:2, 36, 40, 43, 55

Returned from exile. Sometimes it’s the exile who appreciates home more than those already on the inside. The desire is different. The longing more intense. Those on the inside can become complacent or critical, but the exile returning has a fresh appreciation.

There are those who are exiled by force, and those exiled by choice. A self-imposed exile, often during desert times, pulls us away and isolates us from God and others. Alone was never God’s design.

Whether the exile is by deportation or personal decision, there is separation. Distance divides. The disconnect isn’t just physical. In fact, quite often location isn’t the issue. Hearts go into exile. Walls are built. Defences strong. Exile becomes a protection.

Someone very dear to me is choosing a life of exile. Cutting all ties with friends, family and God, they are turning their back on everything and everyone. Each day another step is taken in the wrong direction. Their mind is held captive by evil. Only God can return this prisoner of darkness. The situation looks impossible right now. Praying that someday they too will be returned from exile. Father, turn this runaway toward home.

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"The joyful shouting and weeping mingled together in a loud noise that could be heard far in the distance." Ezra 3:13

In just a few days we will welcome Fall - although to look outside the window as I type this now, at flowers blooming and feel the warmth of the sun, it's hard to believe that cooler weather is actually on the horizon. Seasons in our world flow one to another. Our calendar each year records the first day of Winter, Spring, Summer and Fall. Each one begins on a designated day, coming expected, unchanging and predictable. The seasons in our life are not as reliable. We experience spring's freshness, summer's warmth and rest, autumn's cool winds and winter's harsher climate at any time of the year. We can even live with the elements of two seasons running parallel across our lives at the same time.

The other morning I was awakened by the sound of nature outside my window. Two birds were welcoming the day. The little songbird's melody was breathtaking. The trills this little bird sang as he cascaded up and down octaves was a glorious song of celebration. Yet, joining in this duet was the mournful cooing of a dove. How sad this song appeared in comparison. Both were singing the song the Lord had given them. One sounded as if it was overflowing from sheer joy, the other offering a sacrifice of praise through pain.

How often in my life two songs are being played. I'm rejoicing because of God's goodness in one area, yet fearful and doubting in another. It's like looking outside right now and knowing summer is here, yet feeling approaching winter winds on my heart. Summer's joy is bridled by winter's pain. What I know to be true in my head, yet only seeing the reality of circumstances surrounding me. Living in the now and the not yet. Having the joy of one situation clouded by the trials and hardships of another. One brings laughter, the other tears.

I think of laughter as a gift. I often rejoice in laughter, yet hide my tears. Tears, too, are a gift from God. They do not go unnoticed by Him. Both are wordless emotions that express so much. I read recently that tears caused by laughter are very different than tears caused by sorrow. Their composition is different. Tears caused by sorrow matter so much to God that they even have a different consistency than "happy tears". That's how He designed us.

Ken Gire writes, "The closest communion with God comes, I believe, through the sacrament of tears. Just as grapes are crushed to make wine and grain to make bread, so the elements of this sacrament come from the crushing experiences of life."

It's so hard being caught in the middle of one piece of music. The treble part is victorious and lilting, while the bass accompaniment lingers long, low and harsh. Inside, my emotions are torn. The arms of my heart are stretched out. Each one is being pulled in the opposite direction. A battle is being fought. Joyful shouting and weeping mingled together. The journey of life brings the Road to Emmaus, but also the Via Dolorosa. Two paths. Two seasons. Both leading to the same Savior.