Have you ever had a friendship grow distant and you wonder the cause? Of course we blame ourselves. We must have done something that made the other person step back. We rack our brains, making every effort to recall conversations and actions that may have led to the increasing silence and dismissal.
In reading Job 31, I counted eighteen times where he expressed a form of the phrase, "if I have". Job is doing his utmost to consider any possible way he may have sinned that has now caused all the pain he is enduring. He examines each area of his life searching for a reason as to why he has been the recipient of so much sorrow. Job cannot make sense of his suffering, confident in his life of integrity, "an upright man who did not bring the catastrophe upon himself by his own special sin." (David Guzik)
Job wants to find the purpose in his pain. Do we not also do the same? We search our own hearts when unexpected calamity falls our way. Is God disciplining us for disobedience? In trying to uncover the cause, we rationalize and question motives. Is there anything that we need to confess and repent to God? If we could only discern the grounds for this grief.
In reading Kristen LaValley's book, "Even If He Doesn't", she wisely writes: "The reality is, we want our pain to count for something. We can't imagine a world in which a good and kind Creator would let us suffer for nothing. So we take our pain and dissect it and dig through the layers of dirt to try to extract some sort of design from it. Maybe He's trying to teach me patience. Maybe He's trying to teach me grace. Maybe He's allowing me to go through this so I can teach someone else. We search endlessly for meaning, because how could a good God waste our pain?
But not everything that happens in our lives is supposed to be some grand heavenly lesson. It's true that our suffering is never wasted. Our pain isn't purposeless. But we may never know why while we're here on earth. In fact, I think it's safe to assume we likely won't be given explanations for our pain. When we're obsessed with finding the purpose for everything, we're seeking comfort in the purpose rather than the comfort of Christ.
But, even if we don't know the reasons, we can know the Father. Instead of saying, 'God is trying to teach me something - I have to figure out what it is so I can learn my lesson and end my suffering,' we can say, 'I don't know whether I'm supposed to be learning something here. I'll stay open to the teaching of the Holy Spirit and trust the Lord to bring peace and healing, regardless of whether I have something to learn.'
When we stop trying to squeeze purpose from our pain, we can rest in the peace of God. His peace - the peace that 'transcends all understanding' - will hold our hearts perfectly when we don't understand.
The people of God have been asking Him 'Why?' since the beginning of creation, and they are rarely given an answer. But He gives us His peace. And this is enough." As Kristen concludes, "I might not know the reason I'm suffering, but I know God is present with me in it."
At the end of all of Job's pondering we read, "Job's words were ended." I wonder how often God is waiting for us to do just that. Our words can be many when they should be few. In order to find God in the silence of suffering we need to intentionally make the choice to quiet our thoughts and our voice and sit in stillness before Him. Instead of chasing the purpose, lets choose to rest in His presence and discover the peace He provides.
Quote: "Even If He Doesn't, What We Believe about God When Life Doesn't Make Sense"; Kristen LaValley; Tyndale Momentum; copyright 2024
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