My husband is now retired, but during the years he worked as an engineer for General Motors he often had to travel and occasionally, when a new vehicle was being made, he had to work the midnight shift. The simplest way to explain what he did, is that he programmed the robots that built the cars. When his job required him to be away from home, I hated it. Sure, I missed him, but I was nervous being home over night by myself.
Not living close to family in the early years of our marriage, I always felt so nervous as the evening hours approached. Our home was larger, on a quiet court, that backed onto a park and ravine. The location was perfect during the daylight, but as night approached it always seemed to take on a different dimension. Although a gorgeous setting, it wasn't without a cost. Groups of teenagers would often use the park as their gathering place, and for "fun" throw eggs at our windows. If your house has never been egged, be grateful. Not only does it sound like a bomb exploding, but trying to remove the mess afterward was always a challenge.
I would stay up late, trying to decrease the night hours before morning would come and the sun arise. Often, I would try to sleep on the sofa on the main floor. It just made me feel more central should something happen. I don't know exactly what that "something" was, but in my mind, it was always a possibility.
I didn't speak of this fear very much. I tried to be courageous, after all, I was an adult. So many of my friends had husbands who were often away overnight and they seemed to handle it well. I've later found out that most of them didn't. Many went to visit their parents. Others, to this day, have someone else stay with them and have never spent a night alone. Making this discovery, still with all my fear, I became the brave one. Ironic.
I remember when I came across this verse in the Psalms for the first time. I was at a local Christian bookstore, and a beautiful painting of a peaceful bedroom had this scripture inscribed over the scene. I fell with this calming artwork. I purchased it and brought it home to hang on a wall in our bedroom. I began focusing on realizing that I was not alone. The God of the entire universe was watching over me through the night, as He never slumbers or sleeps (Psalm 121:4-5).
Instead of considering all the "what if's" and panic-inducing possibilities, I began setting my heart on "Who is" and His presence with me. I would climb into bed, (yes, no longer downstairs on the couch), and remind myself of this truth. I would begin to pray through as many attributes of God as my mind could recall at that moment, believing I would experience each one, even as I slept. I would place my life in His hands for safe-keeping through the night. I would pray for the blood of Jesus to cover over every doorframe, window, and even the slightest crack, visually imagining the Lord surrounding my home with His keeping, protecting me from unknown danger without, and any disturbances within. I intentionally placed myself in His hands, believing He truly was a shield around me.
I know my growing trust was sincere, because I slept! Although still not my first choice to be home alone, my faith has grown in these opportunities to abandon myself completely in His care. His Word is true. He is watching over us, and He will bring us safely through the night.
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