Friday, March 27, 2009

Dry

Well, for the first time this year, I have read His Word and come away dry.

Longing, desperately to hear His voice. Looking at every Word. Re-reading sentences. Empty.

Lord, I need to see The Word today. I need to experience You in a fresh way. I need to embrace You, know Your presence and feel Your touch.

Restless and sleepless, words repeated in my head at 3am this morning.

"My Daddy had to go away,
But he'll be back most any day
At any moment I might see
My Daddy coming back to me."


I see Shirley Temple's little, tear-stained, cherub face in "The Little Princess", as she recited that rhyme, longing for her Daddy's return.

My heart is so there. After a painful visit at the hospital last night, I want to pound my fists against my Daddy's chest. I want to grab his face in my hands and scream at him to remember me. If my sobbing and desiring were only enough.

Last night throughout my entire visit, my Daddy thought he was on a ship, sinking out a sea. He felt he had no connection with the mainland and that foes were surrounding him. At one point he was certain he heard an airplane overhead and he quickly called for help to flag it down. Maybe it would bring rescue. He encouraged SOS messages to be sent over the radio. Help is needed.

Friends, help IS needed. SOS messages are storming heaven 24/7. We are waiting for that rescue. Daddy was in unbelievable torment last night. Rubbing his head. Afraid. Too afraid to close his eyes and rest as he was certain he would drown in enemy waters surrounding him.

My night has been filled with silent cries. Tears have washed my pillow.

"What do we do when we want to give in because it seems too hard?" I run again into my Heavenly Father's arms. I cry on His shoulder. You Lord, are my refuge and my portion in the land of the living (Psalm 142:5). Chart my Daddy's ship back to the mainland. Be His Life-Preserver.

Lyrics to old hymns flood my mind. "Bridge over troubled waters". "It is well with my soul". "Ship Ahoy". But, it's a childhood chorus, words slightly altered, that is the cry of my heart this morning.

Bring back,
Bring back,
Bring back my Daddy to me, to me
Bring back,
Bring back,
Bring back my Daddy to me.

Praying for renewed hope and courage - especially this afternoon at 2pm. A meeting, not of our doing, has been called. My mom, my sister and I will meet with two Dr's, the Director of Surgical Care, another hospital Director and a Social Worker to discuss the condition and future of my Dad. Needing divine wisdom and guidance.

Thanks for listening. Sorry for not having more of a word of encouragement today. Praying the Lord will rain down on this weary, dry land. Still in need of that Downpour.

Love y'all

post signature

8 comments:

tbritt said...

Oh Joy, tears are streaming down my face as I read your blog this morning. I do know exactly what you are feeling. I want my daddy back so bad. I know he is too far gone though. I just want to Lord to pick him up and take him home, so that we all will be at peace. I don't think my mom, or the rest of the family can do this much longer. I praying to our Lord for strength for my family, yours and the many more that our going through this sort of struggle. God Bless to all of you and I will be praying very hard for you and your family today. Tracie

Lori said...

Joy,
You chose to cling to God's Word this morning. That's right where he wants you...even tho you walked away dry...His Words are in your heart...He may just surprise and whisper something back at you throughout your day.
PRAYING,
Lori

Lisa writes... said...

Hi Joyful,
Popped over to thank you for your recent visit and comment over at my site! I understand "Dry" and I am so thankful that the Word promises that as we seek Him with our whole heart we will find Him! I pray that this season will strengthen your faith to persevere even as you stand on His promises--He is faithful!
Blessings,
Lisa

lisasmith said...

Joy--

may the Lord use my tears to fling at the face of sickness and disease!!! Lord, rise with healing in your wings. praying. praying. praying.

may this storm give way to His coming as gentle spring rain.

love--
lisa

ps I'm sending folks your way today. May you be encouraged. may joy come with the morning.

On Purpose said...

Praying and KNOWING God will bring You His perfect word at the perfect time. He hears your cry, and He will answer!

Praying for you right now!

Psalm 46:10 "Be still and know I am God"

Sheryl said...

Never question God's presence in your life...even when you don't feel Him.

Sheryl

Marilyn in Mississippi said...

Dear Joy,
A friend recently gave me a copy of the collected poems of Amy Carmichael. After reading your post I decided to look and see if any of the (over 500) poems jumped out at me. Under the heading of "Encouragement" I found the following poem. I hope it will be an encouragement to you today.

WITHERED LAWN
(by Amy Carmichal & based on John 4: 14)

"Shall never thirst" ---My God, what does it mean?
My wells of joy are dried up, and the dawn of this strange day discovers all my lawn, that yesterday lay green, A stretch of withered grass; and the white may that bordered it is gone.
My desolate day lengthens to weeks; will the long weeks be years? Henceforth must only tears suffice me? "Never thirst!" Are the words mockery, framed to ensnare? Nay, God be true though my own heart be liar! When was He ever a wilderness to me? As waters that fail? Thou pricking, stinging brier, false stabbing thought--go trail thy venomous thorns elsewhere! O God, my Father, help me.
Thus he spoke--the man whose heart God broke, but broke in pitifulness. Though by a stroke He took the dear desire of his eyes, it was but to surprise him with greater Love. For far more full of incommunicable delights, the fountain on the heights, than wayside pool, however sweet with fringing flower and fern; and those who learn the secret path that to the fountain goes, whence comfort flows, would tread it ever. But just then, of this only the border of the coming bliss was shown to him -- as in the desolate dawn Father and son in a new union, one, walked hand in hand across the withered lawn.

Love,
Marilyn

LisaShaw said...

Joy, As I read I cried with you. I'm so very sorry for what you and your family and your precious Dad is enduring and I stand with you and everyone who is circling Heaven with our prayers.

I send my hugs, love and prayers to you and your Dad.