Thursday, June 6, 2024

Family Dynamics

"And King David...longed to be reunited with his son Absalom." 2 Samuel 13:39

Family conflict. Two years of division have resulted in a desperate desire for a father to be reconciled with his son. I just can't imagine the heartache. The horrific situation that set them apart wasn't handled well and now years of separation have followed. As a parent, reading of David's longing for Absalom breaks my heart.

I grew up in a loving, caring home. I don't think I realized how incredible it was until I got a little older. As a child I imagined that everyone had parents who cherished them and siblings who deeply loved one another and had fun together. The walls within our home were filled with laughter. We respected and honoured our parents, and they showered us with affection, interspersed with the appropriate discipline when needed.

I always remember when asking mom for ideas when gift giving days were near, her request in response was always the same. She would say, I just want you girls to continue to love one another. My parents valued family relationships and knew how easily the enemy could cause dissension and bring division. Their prayer continually was lifted to God, asking Him to keep us close, forgiving and supportive of one another.

Has there been any sibling rivalry? Of course. We sisters are human, but disagreements never fester or last. We treasure one another far too much to allow a misunderstanding or differing of opinion to create a lasting wedge between us. And we saw this lived out in our mom and dad. They took the wisdom of Ephesians 4 seriously and never went to bed upset with one another, resolving to restore relationships quickly. 

In speaking with many of my friends, I know my family upbringing was unique. What I assumed everyone experienced in their home amongst their family has truly been a gift from God. I'm thankful to say that we see the same value of relationship being carried out in the generation that is following us and we don't take it for granted. I thank the Lord continually as I observe our extended family encouraging, supporting and loving one another. I understand mom's gift request more and more, knowing how much the enemy would love to cause discord and estrangement within the ties that bind.

David and Absalom's conflict could have been healed. Both had been party to actions, or inaction that fed the alienation. Both in their grief responded inappropriately to the trauma their family suffered when Tamar became a victim to Amnon's lust. But, two wrongs never make it right. 

Joab, in an effort to try and mediate between father and son, enlists the help of a wise woman from Tekoa with a fictitious story of a mother and her prodigal son. The staged tactic is successful and David summons Absalom home, but with strict conditions. The opportunity for a genuine reunion doesn't come again until hearts are too cold.

Friends, life is too short. We don't know how many days we will have here on earth. Severed and strained family relationships are not pleasing to the Lord. You're right, I don't know your circumstances and the horrific things that may have cut your ties with relatives, maybe even those living under the same roof, but just as God devises ways to bring us back when we have been separated from Him (2 Samuel 14:14b), He can bring about restoration in your relationships. God refuses to allow us to remain banished from Him, and as Philips, Craig and Dean sing in their song "He'll do whatever it takes", His grace reaches lower than our worst mistakes and His love runs further than we can run away.

Father, empower us today to make every effort to live in peace with all and to be holy. Help us to see to it that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble, enabling us by Your power to love as You love, considering others above ourselves.

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