I think we are all familiar with the phrase, "Be careful what you ask for". Sometimes we make a wish, only to discover in reality the attainment is not what we expected. The fulfillment of the desire turns out to be much different than we imagined. There is a reason why the stories of so many lottery winners conclude in bankruptcy and depression, with families divided. What we think we want most of all can fall short of our expectations and bring with it hardship.
Elijah is nearing death and Elisha was hungry for the gift he saw in Elijah. He desperately wanted what Elijah had, so much so, that he asked for a double portion of it. Elisha had already proven his loyalty to Elijah by refusing to leave him, displaying unwavering resolve, dedication and faithfulness. When Elijah encouraged him to leave, Elisha remained beside his leader, counselor and friend, resulting in Elijah issuing an invitation, "Tell me what I can do for you before I am taken away."
Elisha had seen firsthand how the Spirit of God was manifest through Elijah and he desired the same experience. Elisha's request was not just for a position, but for the power to fulfill his role as Elijah's successor. It was not a greedy request to ask for a "double portion", but an indication that he be regarded as the firstborn son, heir of his mentor's ministry.
Elijah's response helps put this earnest entreaty in perspective. "You have asked a difficult thing." Why does he describe it as difficult? You see, sometimes we only see the glory of a calling and not the grief that often accompanies it. The supernatural gift cannot be separated from the overwhelming trouble, intense opposition, unforeseen persecution and internal struggles that sometimes come with it.
We all want the certification without the classroom, the leadership role without the ladder climb, and the recognition without the effort. The outcomes we desire come wrapped in packages where the hardships are often hidden. We covet another's position dismissing the sleepless nights, loneliness, fear, doubt and insecurity that are part of the calling.
I read recently that the gifts God gives us usually come with a high degree of responsibility and some less than desirable side effects. Elijah wanted to make sure his beneficiary wasn't blind to all that his desire would include. God's work incites God's enemies. If we are only looking for the benefits, it won't be long before we walk away discouraged and beaten. But those who consider the cost and desire the Giver more than the gifts will continue in the strength of the Lord, trusting fully in Him.
I won't deny that in the past I have longed for a greater presence in ministry. At first my motives may have been selfish, to be recognized, valued, remembered. Over the years the Lord has graciously opened doors for me to be personally connected with a number of very well-known Christian speakers and artists. I have become a confidant to several. You would know their names but in treasuring their friendships I also respect their privacy. As they have each opened up their lives to me, I receive the privilege of seeing what the stage hides. In their vulnerability they have invited me "behind the scenes" and opened their hearts to the hardships that walk hand-in-hand with ministry. I now fully see that the Lord has been protecting me from "a difficult thing". Everything isn't always as it seems.
I once heard the story of a senior Pastor counselling a young Bible student who was longing to enter the pastorate. The elder man's advice went something like this: If you can do anything else, follow that dream, but if the Lord has you in His grip so firmly that you can pursue no other vocation, than run towards this calling with passion, never looking back. Such wisdom. Chase after God Himself, praying for strength to carry out your calling at any cost.
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