Healing Words

"The heart of the godly thinks carefully before speaking..." Proverbs 15:28a

There is a saying I'm sure we are all familiar with that goes: "Think before you speak." It is important to consider our words before responding to another's comments or entering into a conversation. Careless answers can cause harm. 

My husband could have written this proverb. He thinks long and hard about all things before speaking, often to my impatient frustration. I remember when our son was young, Chris would ask his dad a question, and as the response from his father lingered, I'd watch our son open his mouth, about to add to the inquiry, filling the silent gap. My look from across the table would try and stop him. Any interruption would delay the reply. Gord is never in a hurry to speak.

It is not only what we say that is important, but how we say it. In fact, our delivery can have more of an impact than the words themselves. It is why text can be misunderstood when we are missing the tone. Innocent emails can be misinterpreted easily without any intentional, hurtful implication. The sender and receiver can be on two different wavelengths without hearing the intonation of the voice and seeing body language. We speak with more than our vocal cords.

My first full-time job, right out of High School, was working in the Children's Department of a local Library. I loved that job! I had always wanted to be "Marion the Librarian" from "The Music Man" production. The Head of our Department would post our work schedules monthly. Every now and then something would come up when I, or my co-workers, would need to ask for a shift change. There was one gal who rarely had her request fulfilled. She would march into the boss's office, speaking of the modified schedule as a "done deal". Her demands were not received with favour. I, on the other hand, would approach our boss with humility, willing to pick up extra shifts, offering to even work Saturday if my proposal could be arranged without too much difficulty. I was never refused.

A well-chosen word, whether of encouragement, direction, correction, rebuke, comfort or sympathy can be healing and life-giving. Sometimes in the pause to ponder what to say we will even discover silence might speak the best. I will confess that over the years the Lord has instructed me more and more to remain quiet. We do not need to engage in every discussion. Often the most valuable word is the one not spoken. There are many times I would love to jump into a conversation to recount a similar situation as the one being shared, but in doing so, would it shift focus away from another? Sometimes holding our tongue prevents heartache. The word might be right, but the timing might be wrong. Listening well is part of thinking carefully before speaking. There is a deeper understanding that can flow beyond audible communication. Comfortable silences can have a power that speak louder. Tender, loving care has its own language. Steven Wright wrote, "The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had." 

Last summer my friend Bev Foster released a CD entitled, "Hope Seeds". She wrote every song after a season of deep intimacy with the Lord. I'm reminded of the lyrics to "Healing Words". The song affirms how life-giving, compassionate words can spring from broken places. Careful words, spoken purposefully, can bless a sister and forgive a brother. These words are so much more than saccharine platitudes, flowing like a gentle stream bringing a calm presence. Bev writes that our words can be a channel of profound refreshment, as we take the time to allow God to use our voices as an instrument of peace, love, care, truth, and hope.

Won't you choose to think carefully before speaking, sharing words that heal hearts with His love today.

"Hope Seeds" CD, Bev Foster, Producer Philip Janz, copyright 2023