The answer to those two questions is the foundation of every moment of our life.
These inquiries were presented to king Hezekiah of Judah, a king with a reputation of trusting in the Lord. In fact, it was said of Hezekiah that "There was no one like him among all the kings of Judah, either before or after his time." (2 Kings 18:5) It certainly seems like Hezekiah's faith is strong and his confidence in the Lord unwavering. Could he not reply with assurance, "I'm trusting in God; I'm counting on the Lord!"
Sadly, this godly king gave in to pressures and shifted his trust. Trying to control his own destiny, he paid off the enemy king with silver from the Temple of God and from the palace treasury, hoping his efforts would pacify the Assyrian ruler, but instead it only increased this rival's efforts against Judah. Placing the full responsibility of the outcome on himself, Hezekiah, in a lack of faith, takes measures into his own hands instead of trusting in God's defense.
Why did Hezekiah transfer trust to himself? Why didn't he keep trusting God? For the same reasons we succumb to self. Hezekiah had just seen King Sennacherib of Assyria attack the fortified towns of Judah and conquer them. It appeared God hadn't protected them, so Hezekiah felt he had to act quickly to save himself and his people.
What draws my thoughts is that Hezekiah was such an acclaimed follower of God. Scripture tells us there was no one like him...faithful, obedient and successful. Even this renowned, godly man struggled with trust at times. Like us, he sometimes chose to momentarily depend on his own ability when feeling overwhelmed by circumstances. Although this decision is never right, God still used it to strengthen Hezekiah's faith, and He can do the same with us as well.
I think one of the biggest reasons we struggle with trust is because we want to wrap every situation with a big bow and end each story with "And they lived happily ever after". The problem being, some circumstances come unwrapped and unwanted, and some narratives end negatively. When a journey appears too hard and God hasn't intervened, we want to do something, do anything to change the trajectory towards tragedy. Fear chokes faith.
I heard a sad response from a young girl recently, who after receiving an unwanted diagnosis asked, "Why does God hate our family so much?" She was not the first in her lineage to face suffering and hardship. My heart aches for this precious teenager. She's been taught God is good, just, and loving yet her health crisis and the challenges within her extended family, to her, lack the evidence of these attributes. She is struggling to trust a God who seems unfair. What does one say? How do we respond?
You see, a question of "fairness" implies God owes us something more than wrath. He doesn't. Do you know what else is unfair for us undeserving sinners? His grace. His forgiveness. His unconditional love. With all He has showered on us, how can we not trust and count on the One who will rescue us for all eternity? Choosing to trust God, we reach for His promises, holding tight and standing firm.
When we're struggling to trust God, confess any unbelief and sit with His Word. Talking to other believers and sharing the wrestling in our heart and mind can bring encouragement. Pray as the disciples did, asking God to increase our faith. Throughout life we will encounter multiple crossroads of trust. When fear and anxiety are fighting to consume us, will we lean on God and His faithfulness or on self? Don't let feelings control. Trusting God is a continual choice we have to make. He is now and forever trustworthy!
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